My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

You're fired!

I have been a manager or supervisor in one form or another for most of my professional life. Firing people is always a part of being a manager. A lot of people don't like to fire people. In fact, most people don't like it. But I never minded it. In fact, I kind of like it. I refer to it as "putting two in the back of his/her head".

I can remember a couple years back, I think it was November of 2003, I was spending a lot of time in our Birmingham location. And there was an employee there that had to go. She was a very nice person, very sweet, very motherly, the kind of person who would do anything for anybody. But she wasn't getting the job done, and I needed someone in that position who could.

The manager of the department was new, and she had worked with the woman in another company before, so she didn't really want to be the one to do it, and I didn't think she should be, so I told her I would be happy to do the deed.

The employee came in that morning with a batch of freshly baked homemade chocolate chip cookies. And boy, she made good cookies. I didn't want to waste any time though, and so before she could get comfortable I brought her and the manager into the manager's office, where I explained how her job performance was lacking, and that I was going to have to let her go.

She was OK at first, but then she began to get weepy. She started to talk about she was worried now that she wouldn't have enough money for Christmas presents for her kids. She started crying, and the manager started to cry too.

So they are both sitting there crying and commiserating, and I just sat there. And the only thing going through my mind was "Damn, I should have gotten one of those cookies before I brought her in here. She's probably going to take them with her when she goes."

It's not easy being a sociopath.

And yes, she did take the cookies. Bitch.

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