My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Hookers are fun!

Well, that was a short hiatus. I didn't want to disappoint my one fan.

I have a hooker story.

I can be so naive sometimes.

Within a month after moving to Gainesville nine years ago, I was working as the Collections Manager for Mercury Finance. As such, it was my job to go out periodically to see people who were behind on their payments, if we couldn't get them on the phone.

I was looking for a house a few blocks south of downtown Gainesville. While I was stopped at a light some people crossed the street and a lady across the intersection smiled and waved at me.

I waved back, but I was pretty sure she had mistaken me for somebody else. After all, I hardly knew anyone in town. The light changed, and I drove on and forgot about her.

I found the house, the guy wasn't home, I left a note, and then I headed back to the office. I was trying to find my way back to Main Street and I was stopped at another light. While I was sitting there that same woman came around the corner and *bam* before I knew it she had opened the door and was in my truck.

Surreal.

She said she heard I had been looking for her. At this point I still have no clue. I said was she sure? And she said yes. I said I was sure she was mistaken. Then she said no, so-and-so said I was looking for some head...

Ahhh.....and the light goes on.

But the light has turned, and there are cars behind me. So I have to go. So now I'm riding around downtown Gainesville with a hooker in my truck.

She wanted to blow me for $20. I turned her down, and protested that I had to get back to the office. She must have thought I was haggling, because she eventually knocked it down to $10 and then finally $7.

You haven't lived until you've cruised around downtown talking price with a hooker.

She finally gave up and told me to drop her off where I had picked her up. I pointed out that technically, I hadn't really picked her up. But I got her close, and she hopped out.

I mean, I really had to get back to work. Otherwise......

Good times.

I could really go for a nice slice of homemade holiday pie!

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