My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Apparently, this is nothing new...

Back in the early and mid 80's there were no blogs. I had to seek out other creative outlets.

I was reminded of this the other day. I was going through some old stuff in my den closet, when I turned a corner and came face to face with...myself, of twenty years ago. Weighed less, had more hair, was less fabulous.

I used to write song parodies and original tunes. Think of a much less talented Al Yankovic. Working more blue. With an attitude. And what's even worse, I would record them, myself, with no music, onto cassette tapes. With zero production values.

The mind boggles. Have I mentioned I drank a lot in those days?

Still, my friends seemed to enjoy them. Otherwise, why would I keep doing it? I made three of them. I remember getting the most enjoyment out of the writing. So I guess, in some way, this blog is a natural evolution and extention of that.

The three tapes, in chronological order (because, for God's sake, we need to be accurate for the sake of history) are entitled The Captain Sings his Gospel Favorites and Other Tunes, Spectrum, and So's Your Mom!

There is no song listing on the first two tapes, so I can't remember most of what is on there. But apparently I got ambitious on So's Your Mom! and listed the cuts. Witness:

So's Your Mom!

Side One

  1. Intro--Maim That Child
  2. Young Girl
  3. Let Me Pee
  4. Oh, Lesbian
  5. I Want a New Rug
  6. Hey Goon
  7. Young Boys On My Mind
  8. Zombie Rap
  9. Suck Down the Booze
  10. Trouble in Northampton

Side Two

  1. The Day the Rabbit Died
  2. Need a Pain Reliever
  3. She Toad Me So
  4. I Got Syph, Babe
  5. Separate Checks
  6. Favorite Things
  7. Perfection
  8. Inflatable Doll
  9. Another Night in Holyoke

I am afraid to listen to them. Very afraid.

I can remember a little of Young Girl, which was a parody of Gary Puckett and the Union Gap's original Young Girl.

Young girl, get out of my mind. My love for you is way out of line. Better run girl. You're much too young girl.


Young girl, get out of my pants. You know you've got really cold hands. Better run, girl. That's not a gun, girl!

You get the idea.

On my desktop I have hardware installed that will allow me to convert cassette tape cuts to MP3s. If I can figure out how to post some of them here, perhaps I will do so.

And then my humiliation will be complete.


Blogger threecollie said...

Ok, I couldn't not laugh at that. I tried, but.....

11:21 AM  
Blogger Dixie said...

"I Got Syph, Babe"

I think I've given myself an internal injury from laughing.

Pleeeeeease - I have to hear these gems!

2:44 PM  
Blogger merlinprincesse said...

My God! I love those titles. I laughed so much that there is not one laugh left.... MWahahahahaha! Oups.
You are a genius (evil one)...:o)

2:53 PM  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

I used to do that, too. Couldn't write a tune to save my soul, but twisted lyrics to mimic the original and fit the tune? You got it!

Even if you can't figure out how to post them as MP3's you have to post the lyrics.

Glad you like the badger poster. That whole badger theme has gotten a strange appreciation from my non-lurkers. Who knew? But after playing penquin baseball... I may have to switch from viscious weasels to flightless seabirds...

7:09 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Okay, it seems people want to see me humbled. I'll get to work on it. The transfer is easy enough, I'll just have to research how to post the mp3s.

God help me.

11:42 AM  

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