My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Fuck nature

Camping? No thank you.

My idea of "roughing it" is staying at a hotel with no room service.

Sleeping in a tent? In a bag? On the ground? That can't be comfortable. I really don't understand the appeal of camping. No TV, music, electricity...that is no way to live!

I actually like nature. Certain kinds of nature. The kind of nature that I can drive to in my comfortable SUV while I listen to the dulcet sounds of my XM radio. And then when get there I can get out of the car (or at least roll the window down) and look out and enjoy the nature.

In those situations I say to myself "Yessir, that is some fine nature!"

And then I drive to mall and shop till I drop.

That's a lie. I'm not much of a mall guy either. But I'll take the mall over camping.

Maybe if you could camp at the mall. Sleep in a nice bed at Sears. Forage for sustenance in the Food Court. Make your own clothes out of....um.....the clothes at Dillards and Old Navy. Bathe in the fountain.

I think I'm on to something.

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