My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

The first taste is free...


Mrs. Fabulous reminded me yesterday of a conversation I had with the young man from whom I bought those magazines on Friday night that she felt I should post.

While he was filling out the order forms he offhandedly asked me what I do for a living.

I responded that I sold drugs.

He looked at me. "Seriously?" he asked.

I replied in the affirmative.

He smiled, clearly not yet buying it. "What kind?" he asked.

"Crack, crank," I replied. "Crystal meth. I've got a meth lab out back in the shed."

"Really?"

"Yep." I gave him my best serious deadpan look. I am a great liar.

He went back to filling out the forms.

Then he asked again "Seriously?"

"Seriously," I repeated. "Why? You're not going to turn me in, are you?"

"Oh, no way man, I would never do that."

"Damn right," I said. "I'd find you, kid."

"I bet you would. Don't worry, I wouldn't. That is so wild that you sell drugs, man."

"Why?" I asked. "You lookin' to buy?"

"Me?"

"Yeah."

He paused. He looked at me and he practically whispered "Pot?"

"Sure."

"Yeah?"

"Yep. You interested?"

"Yeah, I'll buy a little."

Having nowhere to go from there, I came clean.

Oh, by the way, Mrs. Fab is going to cancel the magazine order.

11 Comments:

Blogger T said...

Sounds to me like the kid was afraid to say no... you already told him you'd find him ;). Too clasic. At least Mrs. Fab got out of the subscriptions! Thanks for starting my day witha smile!

8:53 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

You're so bad!!! :)

11:25 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

OMG, you rock.
That, was a riot. ;)

11:59 AM  
Blogger Me said...

You are so mean! that being said, I wish I could lie like that. There's another reason Mrs. Fab is a saint. She's cancelling the subscriptions!?

1:12 PM  
Blogger Billy said...

Don't ya love toying with people like that? you must be my twin brother from another mother.

and no doubt you are freezing your hindquarters today at the fair, it's like 45 outside and I swear it's gonna snow.

2:26 PM  
Blogger Jozee said...

My face hurts!

6:13 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

T--Yeah, she's always got my back!

BP--I AM a bad man!

Rebecca--Gotta make your fun where you can!

Meredith--She's a keeper, no doubt about it!

Billy--I loooove screwing with people's heads. It's a hobby.

Jozee--Glad I could help!

6:30 PM  
Blogger Belle said...

Fab you rock.

8:10 PM  
Blogger Celena said...

Ha ha, that's awesome!

10:52 PM  
Blogger ksy said...

THAT was hilarious. I wish I'd been there.

I wonder what the kid walking down my sidewalk smoking (at 3 in the afternoon, in front of god and everybody) would have said, if I'd walked out of my house, and instead of yelling at him, asked him if I could buy a joint. After all, he'd just thrown the butt on my manicured (NOT) suburban lawn.

I probably couldn't have afforded it anyway, these days....

1:22 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

TJ--Yeah, I can get you some rock. How much you need? :)

Celena--Try it at home! It's fun!

KJ--It's like with anything else, you have to shop around. Don't be afraid to comparison shop!

5:17 AM  

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