My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Moral Dilemma

Yesterday morning I popped into the supermarket to pick up a few things I had forgotten the day before. As I was waiting in the express line, I noticed the elderly lady in front of me had more than the allowed ten items. She had fourteen items. I counted them as she put them on the belt.

However, ten of the items were the same type of TV dinner (good eating at her house!)

What is the etiquette here? Did she have fourteen items, or really only five, since she had ten of one kind?

Would I have been within my rights to pick her up, dump her into her cart, and send her careening out into the parking lot, hopefully into the path of an SUV? Or should I have let it go?

I had to let it go, because I wasn't sure.

But then she went on to force a protracted conversation with the cashier about the Florida Gator backetball game the night before. The cashier quite obviously could not have cared less. On and on she blathered about it. I came this close to telling Grandma Moses to shut the fuck up and go home to her cats. But I didn't.

I'm too nice a guy.


Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Aw. Poor little old thing is just lonely. But you still should have smacked her for having 14 items in the Express line.

9:19 AM  
Blogger Ginnie said...

You know, of course, that it wasn't about her at all, but about you! We needed to be reminded that deep down under all that Mr. Fab is a real NICE Mr. Fab. (Ha. You cannot deceive us!)

9:50 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

She had more than ten items and her ass should have been booted to another lane like I've done to those cheaters on numerous occasions. One cashier actually had the nerve to tell me that she didn't care one way or the other, and I told her personal opinion didn't count since she wasn't the one standing in line with the right number of items waiting for the customer with the wrong number of items to try to cheat her way through. Can you tell that's a pet peeve of mine?! lol

9:50 AM  
Blogger Prairie Girl said...

Your post (a good one btw) prompts me to tell you a story about my Dad:

A few things first, his hobby is grocery-shopping, he's not shy, he's nearly always funny and most times polite.

He and I were on an evening Safeway foray, just a few items required. Express line. He notices the woman ahead (well-dressed, elderly) has more than the 8 item limit. He taps her on the shoulder and asks ever-so-politely if he can go ahead as he has just a couple of items. Although she looks at him somewhat suspiciously, she agrees and steps a little to the side. He "covers" her with an out-stretched arm (he assumes sort of a traffic-guard pose) and indicates that I should move ahead with our few items. I do so. But instead of him following behind me he holds that pose. And he announces to the next person behind me that they too can go ahead. And the elderly woman fidgets but my Dad is good in the blocking/distraction department. He instructs 8 more customers to go ahead (all that remained in the line) and then when there was no one else remaining he un-blocked the lady (who was near blowing a big blood vessel!) and ever-so-politely indicated that she should go ahead of him. He even addressed her as Madam! She absolutely didn't know what to make of him but I bet the next time she'd be doing a lot of shoulder-checking to make sure this mad-man wasn't behind her and her over-the-limit purchases :-)

1:32 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Dawn--so you are advocating beating the elderly? Just checking...

Ginnie--It's true. I'm a nice guy. Damn it. don't have a gun permit, do you?

PG--What an AWESOME story. Your dad sounds really cool. I want to hang out with him!

5:56 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

I hate when people do that! When I've pointed it out to the cashiers at Wal-mart, they've told me they aren't allowed to say anything to the customer!

Well the why have the freakin' ten items or less aisle!!!!! ARGGGHHHH!

7:12 PM  

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