My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

She can't handle the truth!

Amanda, who works for the same company I do, approached me this afternoon to say she had read my blog the previous evening and found it disturbing. Particularly the part about the men I find I find attractive.

She also wanted to know if I was going to be in the same meeting as her this afternoon. Specifically the conference call I mentioned earlier this morning. I guess she was afraid I was going to whip it out and start spraying everyone at the table. I told her that I was going to be in the meeting, but luckily for her I just wasn’t in the mood.

In fact, as she came into the conference room, and she was just about to take the chair next to mine, she looked at me, and moved one seat down. She said she didn't want to risk getting hit by any "sprayage".

What I didn’t tell her is that I wasn’t in the mood because I had jacked off earlier during lunch at Taco Bell. I find the Pintos and Cheese taste just a little better when you mix a little semen in.

How’s that for disturbing, Amanda?

And honey, I’m sorry you had to read this.


Blogger Lady K said...

Pintos & cheese with semen. I'll have to try that sometime. hee hee!!! Some people have no sense of humor. Uptight bitches piss me off.

8:03 PM  
Blogger Nobody said...

OMFG, that's some funny shit. So was this IN taco hell, or in the parking lot?

8:06 PM  
Blogger PaxRomano said...

Wow, I love a great revenge tale!

Rock on!

8:26 PM  
Blogger merlinprincesse said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!! You are funny. But never tried that at Taco Bell... KFC is a better place...RAAAAAA!
And do you really have this disk camera? You are an oldie, YOUNG MAN. (Maybe you should take a cold shower too)... :)Mrs Fab IS an angel!!!!

8:36 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

Did you remember the paper towels - or at least grab extra napkins.

8:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And some people have no sense of decorum. Uncouth bitches piss me off

8:44 PM  
Blogger June Cleaver's Revenge said...

Ooo, I think somebody struck a cord with "anonymous"!

8:49 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

I may never be able to eat pintos and cheese again without thinking of you!! ;-)

Mrs. Fab is a saint!!!

Does Amanda know you?

Or just work with you?

9:03 PM  
Blogger Esereth said...

The important thing here, is that Mr. Fabulous chose the higher ground, not stooping to low-brow.....

Oh no, no. Mis-read that. Nope, he's a dirty bad man.

All right. Who's for burritos?

9:07 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Lady K--I can only vouch for how it tastes with MY semen...

Nobody--I can't do it IN the restaurant. That would be tacky...

Pax--appreciate the support!

MP--Yeah, I've heard about you and KFC!

Fantastigirl-I just rub the excess into the seat. Just like Armor All. Shiny!

Anon--Easy my friend...LOL

June--I concur LOL

Pissy--Amanda and I go way back for several years. I just think she was thrown off by picturing me masturbating. I bet now it's all she can think of :)

Esereth--You know, speaking of burritos, sometimes i hollow out...


9:35 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I may have made Amanda seem too harsh. She's a lovely person!

9:36 PM  
Blogger Celena said...

You're a bit of a sicko! :P How old are you?!? (you're just like all of the guy friends I hang out with)

10:46 PM  
Blogger Trinette said...

Ya know, I always asked for extra 'cuz I thought it was sour cream.

11:17 PM  
Blogger Chelle said...

LMAO...that is toooo funny!!!! and this is why I dotn want anyone I know in the real world reading my blog!! lol

They might find out I get off at McDonalds or something..hehe

1:16 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Celena--I'm 43, but emotionally...about 19 :)

Trinette--On the contrary, it is SWEET

Chelle--Oh dear...not at McDonald's? That is sooo pedestrian. Nobody masturbates at McDonald's anymore!

4:40 AM  
Blogger Jozee said...

Well, as long as you're not giving out insider info I don't think you'll get fired for this blog.

Masturbation the original safe sex!

7:34 AM  
Blogger T said...

I hope you wiped the fire sauce off your hands before you got busy.... oooooouuuuch.

8:29 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I usually have enough protien in my diet but hey, I am trying to lose some weight and they do say that protien keeps you fuller longer.....

Hell, it's worth a shot, right? And The PK sure would my...condiments...:)

9:05 AM  
Blogger Billy said...

that was fab, mr fab.

and on a related note. man was seeing his eye doctor when the dr. told him he really needed to cut back on masturbating. man asked why doc, am i going blind? doc says no, you're just really freaking out the other folks in the waiting room...

9:31 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I suddenly have the urge for some burritos from Taco Bell!

11:26 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Jozee--I like the way you think!

T--No way, baby. X-TREME masturbation!

Stacy--I say go for it!

Billy--Thanks! I needed a laugh today!

Bead--Come on over--I'll treat!

3:56 PM  
Blogger Me said...

Let's not be too hard on Amanda. Poor thing sounds like she just has a bit of stuff in her head. Fantasy is good. Repression is bad. Why do people continue to read things that they find so "dirty" or wrong? Great post Mr Fab.

10:29 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Meredith--That's what I love about Canadians. You guys let it all hang out!

4:17 AM  

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