My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Stupid Wednesday

I am bagged out. And I got enough sleep, for a change. But I'm still bagged out. It must be the Nyquil I took last night. I have a bad habit of not measuring the dosage. Instead of making sure I don't take more than that little cupful, I drink it straight from the bottle like a guy with a canteen crossing the desert. And in part I must blame Mrs. Fab. Last night she urged me to finish the bottle as if I was in a beer chugging contest at a frat house.

What is up her sleeve?

Yesterday, on the advice of some people at work, I drained my blisters. I know, charming, huh? By the end of the day I had quite a collection of bloody paper towels in my trash basket. Hey, just be glad I'm not posting any pictures!

Today is our weekly system-wide Wednesday Morning Meeting at work, where we review the previous week and look ahead for the next several. My report is not good. We are not where we need to be. If I listen very closely, I can hear the gallows being constructed outside the Var Heyl building on the campus...

I think I'm too bagged out to even drop my dry cleaning off today.

Plus I have a dentist appointment today. Yippee. And it's at a horrible time. 3 PM. It will be over by 4 PM. Do I go home? Seems too early to go home. Do I go back to work? Seems like a waste to go back for just a little while. Maybe I'll just sit in the parking lot and masturbate.

Did I just say masturbate?

Blame it on the Nyquil.

20 Comments:

Blogger Trinette said...

That's always what I do when it's too early to go home, but too late to start something new.

7:19 AM  
Blogger Jozee said...

Well at least I know you won't be at the gay rest area on I 91 in Holyoke. You'd never make it home in time. ;-)

7:23 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Good luck with that meeting...I am SO glad I'm not meeting with anyone today...I didn't get anywhere near enough sleep last night....the luggage under my eyes proves it.

Oh and just for the record....I vote parking lot. ;)

7:28 AM  
Blogger Sherry said...

LMAO!

Sounds to me like Mrs. Fabulous was trying to knock you out for the night. heehhe
I may have to try that with my hubby sometime.
[joking]

9:17 AM  
Blogger kari said...

Which parking lot?

10:14 AM  
Blogger Sudiegirl said...

My goodness...I didn't know Nyquil was an aphrodisiac.

Hope the dentist's visit went well, at least.

Sudiegirl

11:01 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Have fun at the meeting, dentist and parking lot. ;)

11:18 AM  
Blogger Ex-Addict said...

Why am I picturing Lumbergh at your Wednesday Morning Meeting? Uh, yeah, Mr. Fabulous, I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday. And, uh, yeah, I'm probably gonna need you to come in on Sunday too...

11:20 AM  
Blogger Maidink said...

Nyquil? Icky. Was it that green death flavored Nyquil or the slightly less obnoxious but still vile red flavor?

If you're gonna masturbate in the parking lot, at the very least, have some porn mags with ya so you don't look like a complete fool. And don't use the Nyquil as a lube - it may have the adverse effect on your goal.

11:30 AM  
Anonymous Matt said...

do you really need to make time to masturbate in a parking lot? it's pretty much my top priority all the time.

11:49 AM  
Blogger Nobody said...

Bring paper towels.

12:10 PM  
Blogger T said...

Hopefully the parking lot will cheer you up a bit after visiting the dentist... keep the bib, it might come in handy ....

1:12 PM  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

He won't be at the gay rest area on I-91 in Holyoke?? After that "Men I'd do" post, how can we be sure? Hmmm???*





Kidding, Faboo.

2:00 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Ya gotta watch it with the Nyquil.
It's addictive... ;-)

Hope you and yourself have fun in the parking lot, you bad boy!!!!

2:25 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Trinette--Birds of a feather :)

Jozee--Ahhh, my old stomping grounds! Hee hee.

Stacy--Yes, you seem like a parking lot girl. That is a compliment, by the way!

Sherry--You could be right. I better stay awake tonight!

Kari--I'm going to work on christening them all eventually...

Sudie--I got a clean bill of health!

Ex--Only if I don't finish my TPS reports :)

Bead--I had the most fun in the pakrking lot.

Maidink--Red, always the red!

Matt--I am not as accomlished as you are...

Nobody--I always do. Then I use it to buff the dashboard!

T--What I SHOULD have done was masturbate in the dental chair!

Dawn--You can't tell for sure!

Pissy--Yep, Fabulous AND naughty!

6:27 PM  
Blogger CP said...

HELLO??? Derm nurse in the house...you do NOT DRAIN BLISTERS.

eew.

By the way, sperm makes a wonderful facial cream. Bring some home to the Mrs on tap, instead of wasting it in the parking lot! *snort*

CP

7:30 PM  
Blogger June Cleaver's Revenge said...

CP, if it works as facial cream, would it work for blisters?

7:36 PM  
Blogger Ginnie said...

I'm only gonna "touch" 2 things here: I stopped taking the liquid Nyquil this year and graduated to the capsules. Try it; you'll like it!

Today must have been dentist day. I had a filling refilled. Hope your experience was as good as mine, even though I went home right afterwards! (Guess I touched it after all :)

8:12 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

CP--You don't? Why not? The CEO told me to...

You must be a fan of Liz Phair's H.W.C. :)

June--Interesting idea. I've never used MY OWN for that....

Ginnie LOL We have the capsules, but I always feel the liquid is better because anything that tastes that horrible HAS to work!

5:13 AM  
Blogger Ms. M said...

The Nyquil might make it one of those really long masturbation sessions where you just can't make the yogurt slinger...sling.

I'm not sleeping well either. Must be something in the water.

CP is right, I hear sperm is great for the skin. I gotta get me some. Too bad I don't produce it myself. I'd probably already have a lifetime supply stashed away in my freezer.

6:58 AM  

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