My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Friday, March 31, 2006

It came straight from Hell...

Pretty, isn't it? It's a boll weevil. Apparently, Hell is full of them. Who knew? I guess boll weevils are like Satan's um....kittens? Sure, why not?

What I'm really referring to, of course, is the care package that Big Pissy sent me from Twiddle-Your-Ball-Sack, Alabama. Boll Weevils are HUGE in that particular corridor of Hell.

Check out all the sweet swag Pissy sent me and the Mrs:

Whoo-hoo! We're in Hell Heaven!

The T-shirt will come in handy. Next time I travel up there I can walk among the citizens of Hell unmolested. Same with the bumpersticker. Now I can drive down the molten lava encrusted roads without winged denizens of the Underworld dive bombing me with scads of fiery brimstoney poop.

The his-and-hers mason jar mugs will come in handy when we're out on the porch swillin' moonshine and playing the banjo with our feet.

She also sent a postcard of a boll weevil statue in town. They must worship the boll weevil as a God there. I must now pledge my undying allegiance to great and terrible boll weevil. I must do his bidding. I must do my part to wipe out crops and and stuff.

Okay, I'm a little hazy on how a boll weevil spends his day.

And she also included a large plastic pink frog with a crown. The reason for this of course, is...umm...gosh. Well, I guess because it's pink! And you know what that can only mean:

The one thing you can't get in Hell: a pink boll weevil.

But the frog is a marvelous stand-in.

We love it all! I was having a horrible day at work yesterday, and this cheered me up immensely.

Thanks Pissy! You're the best!

Note: Don't forget to vote here. You can vote once per day. After all, Pissy is the one who nominated me. You wouldn't want to damage her self esteem by not helping me win, would you? :)


Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

Well, Hell! LOL. Nice gifts you got there.

Oh, and I voted again from the office. Hehe!

5:50 AM  
Blogger Lori said...

Very nice gifts.

PS - I always drink out of a mason jar and I am from Missouri LOL.

6:26 AM  
Blogger nanuk said...

I for one welcome our new boll weevil overlords.

7:22 AM  
Blogger Sherry said...

I've been to Enterprise Alabama on many occasions...
Not to far from where I live now.
You should ask her about the time someone stole the monument in downtown of their prized weevil.
Great gifts.

7:42 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Cool gifts! Love the t-shirt! :)

Here, we worship the mosquito...but then you already knew that, didn't you? :)

8:47 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Oh, I forgot to mention that I went and voted for you!

(But only because I have a thing for lemurs.)


8:52 AM  
Blogger Blogarita said...

I saw a garden the other day that had ONE ROW of cotton planted in it. Now why would somebody do that?

8:58 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

CandianSwiss--Sneaky! I appreciate it. Yes, I love the gifts!

Lori--You're from Missouri? Well, that answers a few questions LOL

Nanuk--Smart fellow! It is useless to resist!

Sherry--Yes, I did some reading. People loved to steal it I see!

Stacy--I'm wearing the shirt this weekend for sure!

9:00 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Wow presents!! I want presents... I need friends.. anyway.. cute stuff!! =)

9:03 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Stacy--I KNEW I couldn't be the only one!

Blogarita--Maybe they wanted to knit a really really tiny little sweater...

Shannon--You've got a MILLION friends I am sure!

9:35 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Very cool gifts!! Half of my glasses in the cabinet are mason jars. LOL
Yes I am from Missouri too. :)

9:45 AM  
Blogger Jozee said...

Mainers drink from Mason jars too.

Nice blog gift!!!

10:59 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Heh! SOOOOOO glad you and Mrs. Fab like the gift! It's hard to find something worth for your fabulousness in hell!

and I thought the lovely pink frog watering can could be used for the plants on your patio.

Or if it should come to life, to eat the boll weevils! ;-)

and you KNOW I had to include something PINK! =)

11:10 AM  
Blogger Mindless Dribbler said...

You know, I'm glad you painted "Alabama Living" with such clarity...few folks believe me when I tell'em.

11:59 AM  
Blogger Spider Walk said...

What a fun care package to get in the mail!

If I lived in Enterprize you can bet your wild sack of lemurs I would most definatly be in on the statue stealing. Sounds like a good time!

Please don't hesitate to post pics of you and the missus on the back porch swing playing ur banjos with your toes :)

12:53 PM  
Blogger cherish said...

That is a fantastic care package and to arrive on a day that is not going so well is awesome. You are kicking butt in the poll. I will keep voting!!

12:55 PM  
Blogger sEa said...

one of the greatest movie lines ever from "Master and Commander"... after Russell Crowe points out two weevils marching about on the dinner table amongst the stale brown bread, corky wine and stringy meat; he asks his friend, the doctor, which weevil he would choose in a race. The doctor, also an amateur evolutionist, points out the larger of the two insects, to which Russell replies, "Ah, but Dr., shouldn't one always choose the lesser of two weevils???" hardy har

1:44 PM  
Blogger Billy said...

Wow, cool stuff. Amazing what you can get for a pink flamingo these days. I never knew the rate of exhange between Fla and Alabama was so great.

2:59 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

ROFL! Fab, that really made my day today. The Presidents of the United States of America also have a really funny song called nonother than "Boll Weevil," and it may enlighten you as to exactly HOW a boll weevil spends his day. According to them, they spend it on their big butts. Great. Now I can't get it outta my head. Thanks for the giggle!

3:41 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Beady--So you're both from Missouri, eh? That explains a LOT!

Spider Walk--Hey, no reason we have to live there to start a 'stealin'. I say ROAD TRIP!

Cherish--Thanks for voting! Yes, it was just the pick me up I needed!

Sea--LOL I remember that, it was hilarious!

Lady K--LOL When I was looking up weevils I came across that song. Too funny!

4:04 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Boy, this comment moderation is a pain. IF you get a lot of comments it's hard to keep track, and then sometimes they don't publish when you tell them to, and you have to backtrack and figure out which ones didn't post, and re-post them.


OK, catching up...

Billy--Oh yes, the exchange rate heavily favors FL. The only lower exchange rate is in MS LOL

Pissy--Thanks again so much. I will make sure Mrs. Fab employs the watering can liberally!

Mike--Oh yeah. You ought to need a passport to get into Alabama!

Jozee--Maine, really? Those freaks :)

4:12 PM  
Blogger Dixie said...

We both got tacky souvenir packages this week! Lucky, lucky, lucky!

5:58 PM  
Blogger A Bottle Of Red said...

Poor me a glass of the moonshine and I will bring my own jar!.

Cool stuff ya got there.

6:02 PM  
Blogger Plunky said...

Ewwww. That thing is UGLY. I love that she sent you all that stuff though. People really drink out of mason jars? I thought that was just in songs. Oh and of course, in hell. See you there! Mind if I borrow that um t shirt when we get there?

6:49 PM  
Blogger CP said...


*tantrum tantrum tantrum*


Yeah. Didn't work with my parents either. Incidentally, I mentioned you on my BLOG, you vote whore! *L*


6:56 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Pissy is just too nice to you! ;)

However, that picture is just one of the ugliest bo weevil or whatever it is - ever!!! Gross... I'm more of a spider kind of girl... ;)

7:56 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Oh no!!! Approval is required??? Are you being stalked by Big White Hat's Trolls?? ;)

7:57 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Dixie--Yep! Australia and Hell LOL

Jaws--Nah, we got us plenty of jars for ever-body!

Deb--I think the T shirt is too big for you. You can borrow the frog if you leave a $20 deposit LOL

CP--But CP, you've already got it all! Thanks for the support. I AM a whore, you're right!

Rebecca--Yeah, I got paid a visit yesterday. A lovely bunch of lads LOL

8:01 PM  
Blogger marty said...

I like the weevil pic. It is up there in the gross stakes.

10:59 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Well, I'm glad that I've never seen a weevil in person... yuck!!

Cool gift pack, though, LOL

5:38 AM  
Blogger Belinda said...

Name the artist:

"You're funkier than a mosquito's tweeter;
You got a mouth like a herd o' boll weevils;
Same ol' thing, you never change;
ALWAYS talkin' 'bout the same ol' thing!"

4:08 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Belinda--Nina Simone?

Marty--And I picked a good looking one!

Laurie--I'll have some sent to you! LOL

6:43 AM  

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