My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Modern Man or Simpering Wimp?

On Friday I attended a baby shower. It was the third baby shower I have attended in the last year and a half or so. Prior to that, I had never attended one.

So now I have been to Amanda's, Jennifer's and Danielle's showers. I know them all from work.

I wasn't going to post about it, but Christine has been on my ass about doing it. I don't know why. I don't really have much to say about it, although I do have a question:

Is it odd for a man to attend a baby shower?

For two of them, I was the only man. For the other, there were a couple of other guys there.

I had a good time at all of them. I oohed and ahhed in all the right places. Sure, I did it with an exaggerated slightly sarcastic inflection, but still...

I don't hear about many men attending baby showers. Is this yet another example of how sensitive and thoughtful and progressive I am? Is it an indication of how I celebrate women, and are not intimidated by a large group of females?

Or does it mean simply that I am a sissy boy? A girlie man?

I guess that will be a question for the historians...


Anonymous Belle said...

Most of the time they are for the women. Women celebrating women who are about to squeeze out something the size of a watermelon through a hole the size of a lemon, lol. However, it's becoming more common to have couples showers so that everyone can rejoice. My ex and I threw a slammin' shower for our neighbors when we lived in Atlanta and the men seemed to really enjoy themselves.

5:06 AM  
Blogger Blogarita said...

If you have to ask, I think you already know the answer.

5:24 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

I think it's nice, but strange that you would be the only one there. If you're going to invite men, invite all of them. But a shower is about celebrating, and if you're happy for the showeree, then great! Free food!

5:48 AM  
Blogger Dr.John said...

I always thought they were strictly a girl thing. As a pastor I had many invitations but never went to any. I always sent my wife. Maybe I missed something.

7:57 AM  
Blogger cherish said...

I have to honestly say I have never seen a man at a baby shower. But I did attend one bridal shower that was intended for couples.

I think this shows you are a warm, loving, caring and sensitive man. I do not think it means you are sissyboy because most men would not attend a shower that was attended by all women.

WOW!! You really are Fab U Lous!!!!!!

8:01 AM  
Blogger Sherry said...

I always thought showers were for women...
And parties were for both.
I think it is all how its worded on the invitation.

8:01 AM  
Blogger Chelle said...

I don't really know how many men would truely want to sit through a bunch of women talking about childbirth and playing silly girlie games! (And we all know this happens at baby showers!! lol) I think it's cool that you were invited, and went, but, well, why can't some things just stay "traditional"? I think we have become soooo ploitically correct in EVERYTHING that we have gone slightly overboard. Yes, having a baby takes a man and a woman, however, only the WOMAN can relate to getting that kid out of her body!!! LOL Let the showers be for the women.
I"m really not old fashioned, but I do believe that some things should not have to be conformed to fit the mold that society is trying to make us fit into these days. Ok....did I make ANY sense?? LOL

8:21 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Actually, The PK went to two baby showers with was for his business partners baby....and it was a huge blow-out bar-b-q party baby shower (lots of guys there) and the other one was The PK's nephew (where guys were included also...I think there were like three guys there).

Nothing wrong with that.

8:21 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Belle--Wow! ou had watermelon sized babies?


Miss jay--Well, not all the guys are as good sports as I am, I guess :)

Dr. John--No, I still think I am in the minority

Cherish/Sherry/Chelle--Well, I wouldn't go to just ANY shower, but I knew all three women pretty well and consider them pals

Stacy--Now THAT sounds like fun shower!

8:36 AM  
Blogger Jade said...

Hi! Am over from Ficklechick's place and think yer funny!

Um, yea. I've never seen men at babyshowers and would have been mortified to see one at any of my own too. How is it that you've been to 3? My husband would have died of embarrassment by now. Kudos to you!

8:57 AM  
Blogger Jozee said...

Hey, seems you play well with others including the opposite gender. That's cool. ;-)

9:13 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Baby showers are usually for woman but I see nothing wrong with you attending them. All of the ones I have been to in my family has had men there. :)

9:18 AM  
Blogger CrankyProf said...

Well, as long as you weren't holding the baby clothes up to your own tummy, wearing a hat comprised of a paper plate and all the gift ribbons, and screeching that "everything is simply faaaaaah-bulous," you're OK.

Although haviong guys come to a baby shower seems weird to ME, I've noticed it's a new trrend. The "Phil Donohue- and Alan Alda-ization" of men continues apace!

9:47 AM  
Blogger Ginnie said...

It's clear to me, Mr. Fab, that both sides of your brain are in full gear most of the time, so it was undoubtedly fitting for you to be there. I'm guessing the mothers-to-be really saw you as "one of the girls!" You DO seem to identify with what women are/feel. I think that's unusual in this day and age. So you have my kudos.

In my rather large family, baby showers include everyone of all ages and genders because they usually happen at our family cottage when we're having a family reunion. It's a blast because everything is done to cater to everyone.

10:08 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Jade--Thanks for popping in! Yeah, I'm quite a guy (not) LOL

Jozee--Noho is a very progressive place to grow up! :)

Beady--How come I've never been invited?

CP--Oh no, don't lump me in with those two!

Ginnie--I would expect that is how you and your peeps would do things--Very soulful!

10:25 AM  
Blogger Saur♄Kraut said...

Hey that is cool! When are people going to realize that we live in 2006 and baby showers should involve both sexes? It's not just women that raise kids. Well, at least it shouldn't be. Good for you! You're a great example!

10:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dont see anything wrong with it. My hubby stayed around for my surprise wedding shower. He mostly did it to see the gifts and eat the food. But no one minded him being there. My step dad was there too.

11:01 AM  
Blogger Ex-Addict said...

The only showers of mine men were at were work ones. So those showers are okay. But just a guy at an all female baby shower, mighty gay on the gay/ not gay scale!

11:34 AM  
Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

Strange for me. The last time I was at a baby shower was about.. well long ago. Not having any children, I just can't say. I can just remember that at that time, there were only women and I must have reacted like you did. All the Ahh's and ohhh's at the right time.

12:47 PM  
Blogger T. said...

When I was pregnant for my youngest, the ladies that worked with my husband threw him a baby shower. He thought it was a bit odd since he's a guy but he was cool with it.

1:16 PM  
Blogger SM said...

Personally, I think it's up to the host. If you were directly invited, then by all means - go. I don't see any issue with it. If I was invited to one, I'd go.

1:50 PM  
Blogger D said...

haha, I'm coordinating a shower right now for my brother's (fiancé's) baby and contemplating calling it a "Celebration" in order to not freak out the male invitees.

Looks like that's a good plan.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Detroiter said...

Mr. Fab, keep on keeping on. If men can help make the babies, then they can enjoy baby showers. I got a lot of flack from my family for insisting my husband join me at our baby shower. Interestingly, these same objectors are either in bad relationships or got burnt by a man.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Saur--Exactly! We're all in this together!

Mimi--The food is always a big selling point!

Ex--Yes, that was the case with me. All the showers were work ones.

CanadianSwiss--Yep. Synchronized oohs and ahhs LOL

T--Hey, that was a cool idea!

Dene--Perfect! I'll be looking for my invitation! :)

Detroiter--Props to you for being progressive!

3:27 PM  
Blogger kari said...

Wow. I'm impressed. What a man!

3:36 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

I have been lurking for a few days, but I thought I could respond on this one. :)

I think that in the "olden" days, baby showers were for women only. But if women can burn their bras for women's rights, then men can attend baby showers.

Actually, I think a lot of things are co-ed now, with the exception of bachelor and bachelorette parties, and I may even be wrong there. (I am not counting the stripper.)

3:47 PM  
Blogger Plunky said...

Oh Mr. Fab, how very, err, interesting. Yeah that's the word!

4:45 PM  
Anonymous Ellie Mae said...

In my defense...I was not on your ass about it. I merely mentioned it would be nice to read about it on your blog. There were other men invited, they just didn't come. And, just so everyone knows, there is a good picture of you with a silly paper hat, remember? I wish I could post that on the comments board! I'll email it to see you and see if your brave enough to post it :)

4:47 PM  
Blogger Dixie said...

You know, you're such a break-the-mold sort of guy - you attending a baby shower doesn't seem all that weird to me.

5:19 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Men attending baby showers is a trifle too metrosexual for my taste.

5:21 PM  
Blogger Chelle said...

Well as far as I'm concerned, when a man actually pushes a baby out thru his penis, then he can do all that other stuff....til then, nothing wrong with women having a shower for women only! But thats my opinion which, like an asshole, we all have :)

5:53 PM  
Anonymous dreamwalker said...

To sissy boy...
*lol* (I haven't heard that one before.)

I have attended baby showers with men present and I didn't think twice about it. I didn't know it was an issue!??

Looking forward to the picture :)

6:41 PM  
Blogger A Bottle Of Red said...

I have never been to a baby shower with a guy there BUT I don't think the question would be is he a sissy boy or a whimp.. I think it would be a statement that a mna that goes to a baby shower is a smart man.

A man comfortable enough to go and all those women? Think about the odds.

7:25 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...


Lynda--You ALWAYS have to count the stripper LOL

Deb--Yes, I guess that WOULD be the word :)

Ellie Mae--You brought up the picture. Now I have to kill you...

Dixie--Thank you my friend!

Nanuk--You are so provincial! LOL

Chelle--Let's leave my penis out of this! Heh heh

Dreamwalker--No picture! LOL

Jaws--Smart? That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me LOL

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Heather said...

Why not let men at baby showers? Women have "bachelorette parties". Women want the same rights and treatment as men, why shouldn't it go both ways? And, I don't want to hear that it's because men can't have babies. First, it's not their fault and second, lots of women can't have babies.

So, I think it's very cool that you went. It says that you're comfortable in your masculinity.

7:48 PM  
Anonymous Ficklechick said...

Were they couple's showers? Because otherwise..... ;)

7:57 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

You ARE a sissy boy. Just kidding! I don't think it's unusual for a man to attend a baby shower as much as I think it unusual for someone to INVITE him.

8:22 PM  
Anonymous b said...

Years ago I'd say it was odd for men to attend a baby shower, but these days that seems to be out the window. I heard on the radio that this one couple threw a CO-ED baby shower and for every pack of diapers the men brought, they would get a set number of poker chips. The guys would go play poker and the ladies would do the baby thing!

8:47 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Sissy boy?



You're just fun and well-liked so you're invited!

I'd keep going and not worry about it.

8:52 PM  
Blogger Spider Walk said...

Nope, never seen a man at one here either.
I am sure the ladies adored having your company though...
The ladies that didn't know you probably assumed you were gay.
Hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :P

9:43 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Hell, I don't want to be at baby showers. If there was half a chance I could send a boyfriend, I would.

9:55 PM  
Blogger marty said...

I shower regularly.

11:14 PM  
Blogger CeCe said...

Well, I'm in the process of planning a shower for a friend, and there will be men there, so there ya go!

1:55 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Heather--I am that, for sure. Thanks!


Lady K--Wel, maybe I'm a sissy boy a little...

CeCe--I'll look for my invitation...

Pissy--No one else is pregnant right now, so I won't be going to any for a while, I think...

Beth--Hee hee that is a refreshing point of view

Marty--That is not what I hear on the street

B--That sounds like a cool idea!

Spider Walk--What makes you think I'm NOT gay? :)

5:01 AM  
Blogger Ms. M said...

Well, I think you're brave for going to a traditionally all female affair. Did you discuss your experience with labor and childbirth? If you did, then you may have offered a well needed perspective on the subject. But, I suspect the women were either impressed that you were there and felt you to be a sensitive, progressive man, or they thought you were a closeted homo.


5:28 AM  

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