My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Mrs. Fab speaks...

OK guys, here are your answers, unedited and in their entirety. This was fun. And I kinda got a day off in the bargain. Maybe we'll do it again sometime. Or, maybe this will answer all the questions everyone had:

A foreword to all those who read Mr. Fab…

He really is as sweet and funny as he seems on the blog. The hardest thing about being married to him is trying not to be complacent and unappreciative of exactly how blessed I am. It often seems unreal to me that someone so wonderful and giving and generous would love me like he does. If I were a Buddhist, I would think that I must have been the most wonderful, giving person in the world in a previous life to be rewarded with such a gift, because I am certainly not such a person in this life. You would know this if I ever let him tell the “dog story,” which I won’t.

That being said, hands off girls (and Billy), he’s mine!!!


Trinette said…
Ok, I'll start: "Mrs. Fab, where did you acquire the patience of a saint?"

It was on sale, $1.99.

Stacy the Peanut Queen said...
Me next!!! Okay, what was your first thoughts upon meeting Mr Fab???

That he was clever, and funny, and had a great smile.

He was standing in the corner of the convenience store that he managed and I was coming in to cover the store for him when he had to be out for the afternoon. He had one foot up on a milk crate, was standing in front of the porno mags, and talking on the payphone. I thought it was obvious that he was the manager because he was wearing a suit.

It turned out he was wearing the suit because he was on his way to court to fight a ticket, I think it was when he ran off the road while trying to change a cassette tape. He got out of the ticket by telling the judge that he had swerved to miss a rabbit that had run across the road.

Anyway, when I introduced myself he gave me a big grin and said, “Welcome to store 6674.” Even 22 years later, I remember because it rhymed.

The next time I met him I was covering his store while he went to Puerto Rico on a trip he won in a sales contest. He had a horrible time (maybe he’ll tell you that story someday). In any event, he came back, asked me out, and four weeks later we were engaged.


Chelle said...
Does he REALLY have big feet??? ;)

Oh my YES! Size 15! And that’s the size of his wedding ring too. Just to reiterate the fact that he’s taken…

Big Pissy said...
"Is Mr. Fab as much fun to live with as he comes across in his blog?"

As he himself would say, “I’m living a dream.”

Blogarita said...
Don't you find the clown costumes just a little bit frightening?

Not when we’re both wearing them…

beadinggalinMS said...
Mrs. Fab what is the one thing that Mr. Fab does that drives you insane? for ex. toilet seat left up, tooth paste cap left off.

Honestly, there isn’t anything like that. He puts the seat down. He changes the roll of the toilet paper. He doesn’t leave his underwear on the floor.

Oh wait, there is the humping of major appliances in public…

And he does like to shout out things as we’re walking through the grocery store like “Honey do you need anymore Vagisil?”

zhadi said...
Mrs. Fab, I would like to hear your side of what it's like to be a 'don't talk to me until my nerve endings sheathe and I have six cups of coffee' type of person, living with what sounds like a morning person on crack.

It’s one of the reasons I’m going to law school, so I’ll be prepared with my defense of justifiable homicide.

dreamwalker said...
OK. I'm not asking about the dog story that will not be told, although I am sooo curious :) What is your favourite food?

Hmmm, that’s tough, I like all kinds of food. Mostly Mr. Fab and I like the same foods, except he likes fish and I don’t. Thankfully, the days of sardine sandwiches for breakfast are few and far between. He also loves vienna sausages which smell horrible to me, although the first time he made me breakfast in bed it was blueberry eggo waffles and vienna sausages. Of course, I ate them because the gesture was just so sweet. (Don’t tell him, ok?)


CanadianSwiss said...
I'll take the opposite of beadinggalinms. What do you love above everything about Mr. Fab?

I love the fact that he’s “able, accepting, adaptable, bold, brave, calm, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, dependable, dignified, energetic, extroverted, friendly, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, independent, ingenious, intelligent, introverted, kind, knowledgeable, logical, loving, mature, modest, nervous, observant, organized, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, reflective, relaxed, religious, responsive, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty”…

There, I think I included all the qualities listed on the Johari window that he had posted back in February then complained because when limited to six choices I didn’t choose them all…

But seriously, I love the same things that everyone else does, his humor, his intelligence, his sweetness, his compassion, his warped and twisted mind…


Rebecca said...
Mrs Fabulous: How do you feel about Mr Fabulous' penchant for refrigerators??? ;)

Oh my… I just don’t understand it. It makes me feel less alone to read that he’s not the only one. There should be a support group for the spouses, like Al-anon for the spouses of alcoholics…

Heather said...
Mrs. Fab - Mr. Fab reminds me a lot of my husband. I'm the adult of the relationship and he's the kid (it was a proud day for him when he taught our son the joys of farting in the bathtub.) Am I right? Are you the adult in the relationship? My question is what do you do to keep your sanity? I blog, I pretend I don't hear him, I spend a lot of time cleaning.

Oh, I surrendered my sanity 22 years ago. It was much easier to give it up than to fight the inevitable.


Billy said...
Is it true that Mr. Fab was in fact detained by Mexican border guards for attempting to cross while in possession of a canvas sack containing many rare and endangered Peruvian speckled lemurs? And if so, why weren't we invited to the party?

To the first question, I must claim a combination of spousal immunity and attorney/client privilege.

To the second question, I was wondering why we hadn’t received your RSVP. Keep checking your mailbox…


Jody said...
Is Mr. Fab really funny or does he just write that way? Does he think he is funny or is it just us that think he is funny? Smooch, The Tart PS. Can you get him to go to a museum?

He’s very humble about his talent and doesn’t think that he’s funny. He’ll acknowledge that he’s sarcastic, but doesn’t recognize that as a gift. Have him tell you the story about getting suspended in high school for his writings…

Actually, he went with me to the Metropolitan Museum of Art the first time we went to New York City. After that we agreed to split up, he hit the streets for his art, and I wandered the museum. Then we’d meet back for lunch. He has gone to both Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum and Madame Truffaut’s Wax Museum if they count.


Esereth said...
Tell about one time he just went too far, and it wasn't funny. Cuz I'm a miserable buzz kill, and frankly, Mr. Fab's continuous unbrideled good nature makes me suspicious. Ever hear mysterious knockings from your basement?

First, you should know that I have a very weak stomach, and cannot stand the sight of blood. He did this was years ago when we were living in Massachusetts…

I was sitting in the living room and he was doing something down the hall in the kitchen. All of a sudden, he lets out a blood-curdling scream. I immediately run down the hall to see what had happened. He had his hands up to his mouth and blood was running out between his fingers. His voice was garbled as if he had something in his mouth. He yelled that he had bitten off his tongue, and then spit something bloody into the sink.

Now this part should assure you I’m not a saint…
I saw the blood and ran into the pantry. I couldn’t handle all the blood that was splattered all over the kitchen. From in there I told him to hang on and I would call 911 or we’d drive right to the hospital.

That was when I heard the laughter…

He had mixed up a concotion of flour and red food coloring that he used for the “joke”. It was actually pretty funny in retrospect despite having to scrub food coloring out of the kitchen grout for weeks.

As to the second question, luckily we live in Florida so there is no basement. But there’s a shed in the backyard that I’m more than a little afraid of, and not just because of the palmetto bugs and brown recluse spiders…


marty said...
Mrs. Fab, is it true that you and Mr. Fab are a two blog family?

No, Mr. Fab is the writer in the family, although he may have a second anonymous one that he hasn’t told me about. That’s probably the one where he tells the truth about me, all my bad habits, etc. He probably has already told the “dog story” there…

Clo said...
Mrs. Fab, I want you to tell us about the most unforgettable kiss you had with Mr. Fab!May I ask another one? What is the best gift Mr. Fab ever gave to you?And now a silly one: I you were the man, and Mr. Fab the women, tell us what famous women he should be!

The best kiss is easy, it was the first one. He was so much the gentleman for our first two dates he wouldn’t even kiss me. Then after our second date, I invited him over to my apartment for pizza and to play Trivial Pursuit with my roommate and me. After my roommate went to bed, we sat around talking and watching television. I don’t remember what was on, but it was scary and had Linda Blair in it (no, it wasn’t The Exorcist). Anyway, we talked until about three in the morning. Finally, he had to leave and as I walked him to the door, he leaned in and gave me the most amazingly sweet, soft, wonderful kiss. To this day, although I love all his kisses, sometimes I ask him to kiss me like the first time, and he does. It always makes me melt…

The best gift was the time he let me have a professional portrait taken of him. We arranged to meet the photographer at the beach and got some great ones of him in the dunes and staring off out to sea. We even had a picture taken with Santa hats that we had made into Christmas cards. It was wonderful.

A famous woman… I don’t know… maybe Janeane Garofalo the comedian, maybe Paula Poundstone, Rosie ODonnell, Judy Tenuta… definitely someone funny…


Mimi said...
Is Mr Fab REALLY Fabulous? Or is it like calling a 7 ft tall guy Tiny? ;-)

Trust me, there’s nothing tiny about this 7ft tall guy (see Chelle’s question).
And yes, he really is fabulous too!


Eric T. said...
OK, If Mr. Fab were a "Carney", what booth would he be working at?

He would definitely be the guy in the dunking booth hollering out to people walking by, trying to get them to come in and dunk him. In fact, whenever we pass one of those booths we mention how good he would be at it. He’d make a million dollars…

Shannon said...
What is the one thing that Mr. Fabulous does that you simply adore (But he has no clue about).

As he’s falling asleep, just before he’s completely under he makes a little sound. It’s like a soft little grunt, but it lets me know that he’s falling asleep (which is always good considering his chronic insomnia) and also makes me feel like everything’s right with my world.

Sheryl said...
Q. for the Mrs: What's it like to live with someone who has an IQ of 190?

He always tells me that I’m the smart one in the relationship, but as I respond, I’m the educated one, he’s the smart one.

Lady K said...
My question for Mrs. Fabulous is: What made you fall in love with him, and what keeps you loving him? (okay, I guess that's TWO questions....)

Actually, that is only one question since it has the same answer – because he’s Mr. Fabulous!

32 Comments:

Anonymous Belle said...

OMG what a hoot!

Ya' know, they say when you have a pet you start resembling that pet, but I think you and the Mrs. have the exact same personality! That's kinda' scary, lol.

Sorry I missed that post about asking her questions. I would have liked to try my chance and exposing something about you!

5:58 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Belle--LOL. That was my biggest fear. But no one asked any explicit or potentially embarassing or humiliating questions.

HA! Ya'll missed your opportunity!

**doing a celebratory frenzied victory dance**

6:47 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Oh, those are some EXCELLENT answers!

Thanks for the honesty and the giggles! :)

9:05 AM  
Anonymous Ficklechick said...

What a woman!!! ;)

11:06 AM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

Mrs. Fab has my abject sympathies... BTW, how did the Gynecologist Ads on the Ceiling idea go?

11:36 AM  
Blogger cherish said...

OMG This was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your wife is amazing! You two definitely deserve each other... It sounds like you have truly met your soul mate!

12:07 PM  
Blogger Ex-Addict said...

Very interesting! I think I like billy's question the best though.

12:41 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Stacy--Ya know, now that I think about it, if she thinks all these nice things about me, I ought hit her up for a raise in my allowance!

Ficklechick--She's the best!

Saur--I am still hoping to get an audience with the docs...

Cherish--That she is, for sure!

Ex--Well of course, Billy is a twisted little monkey...

12:47 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

Sweetest thing ever. And especially because it was in a humorously adorable way and not an "I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit from the saccharine" way.

1:01 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Wonderful. You're a lucky man. Now tell the dog story. Please?

2:46 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Very nice.

2:54 PM  
Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

That was "Fabulous" in all ways. Witty, fun, sweet,loving and caring. You guys are just amazing. Loved getting to "meet" Mrs. Fab and reading her thoughts. Hope you do something similar again.

2:56 PM  
Blogger CeCe said...

Well that was fun!

3:37 PM  
Blogger zhadi said...

I'm extremely sorry that there is no regular blog from Mrs. Fab 'cause she's just as fun to read as the Mister!

4:42 PM  
Blogger BarefootCajun said...

The Fabs rock. I'd really love to hear that dog story.

Thanks for giving us some insight, Mrs. Fab.

4:44 PM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Thank you Mrs. Fab for answering my question. It has been fun reading your answers to everyones questions.

p.s.
I have had many wet dreams about the fridge that Mr. Fab wants. LOL :)

4:55 PM  
Blogger Billy said...

Twisted little monkey? thanks, I like that.

Okay, now for Mrs. Fab, I truly appreciate being told to keep off the husband - I believe that's a first and does he tell you everything?

Attorney/Client priviledge is the best answer I could have hoped for, and yes, I'll keep watching my mailbox for the invite.

Loved every bit of this folks, thanks.

4:58 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Amber--I am not an advocate of making people throw up in their mouths :)

Erin--Sorry, I am forbidden!

Mike--Thanks, bro.

CanadianSwiss--NO, she may never speak again LOL

CeCe--Not as much fun as those pictures of Cherry!

Zhadi--I agree. Maybe one day...

BarefootCajun--Almost TOO much insight!

Beady--I'm glad I'm not the only one. That is one sweet fridge...

5:42 PM  
Blogger CP said...

This was a magnificent post. I loved it. I am so happy to hear I am not the only woman on the planet who is absolutely shrouded in the love and warmth of her soulmate.

This thrills me to no end, and gives me hope that true love still exists.

CP.

I would like a part 2 done. I think I missed the game post. I have questions, dammit! Lots of them! *LOL*

5:43 PM  
Anonymous dreamwalker said...

*chuckling madly*
Thanks MrsFab.

MrFab...questions answered, new questions raised..that trip to Puerto Rico sounds interesting?
:)

5:47 PM  
Blogger T. said...

LOL Very funny. Mr. Fab sounds a lot like my husband except for the size 15 feet thing. That's like freakish. Sorry.

6:14 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

That was great~ so warm, witty and genuine!

You and Mrs Fab seem to have been made for each other =)

Mrs. Fab: thanks for taking the time to answer all our questions!

6:48 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Thanks for answering our questions Mrs. Fabulous.. I think you are both blessed.. (He feels blessed to have you in his life as well).. You two are the definition of love, we could take lessons from you.. =)

6:59 PM  
Anonymous smluke said...

YAY!!
I missed the post about the questions, but LOVED the answers! Please tell Mrs. Fab that she's great...really, really great! Gorgeous too! I saw the birthday picture-what a knockout! You're one lucky dude.

12:02 AM  
Blogger Crazy Like A Fox said...

Hee hee..Mrs. Fab needs her own blog. I think she may be funnier than you, Mr. Fab.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Don't cry.

12:02 AM  
Blogger Clo said...

That was great! I loved it!

Mrs. Fabulous, you said that Mr. Fabulous was really Fabulous. Now, we all know that you too are really a Mrs. Fabulous! And funny too...

*sending a big kiss to both of you*
:O)

12:16 AM  
Anonymous Kentucky Girl said...

Heh. All the things I never knew I needed to know. :P Thanks for sharing, Mrs. Fabulous! :)

1:12 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Shannon--Thanks, but I am sure you are doing OK...

SMLuke--Yeah, but you've got quite the little hottie at home, too!

Crazy--I knew someone was gonna point that out eventually...

Clo--Hmm..that kiss tasted like Molsen and backbacon...

Kentucky Girl--Probably more than you needed to know! LOL

3:52 AM  
Blogger Plunky said...

Aww, that was cute! What a great idea, Mr Fab! Although, really, we all may start chanting "dog story, dog story"...

3:59 PM  
Blogger Spider Walk said...

Hats off to you Mrs.Fab!

You two make a wonderful couple.
Here's to 22 more years!
**Cheers**

10:51 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Deb--I'm afraid the dog story is in the vault!

Spider Walk--Antoher 22? That sounds about right. If she can stand it...

5:05 AM  
Blogger Ginnie said...

It is sufficiently clear by now that you two were MADE for each other! What a great story for the books.

10:20 AM  

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