My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

OK, yesterday I did something I never thought I would do. Never in a million years.

I went to a tanning salon.

I know. Me.

It was that picture of me that Mrs. Fab took. I'm so pale I almost blend right into the wall. My complexion can only be described as fish-belly white. That's what my friend Jessie always called it. She suffered from the same malady.

So, there is a Tan USA just a mile from the house. I checked it out, bought some sessions, and in the afternoon I came back and gave it a go. I just don't have the time to lay out in the sun. How can I be a sexy beast if I'm pale and pink-eyed?

Today I need to make my appointments for my sports facial and my massage. I think I'm going to get those done on Monday, the last day of my vacation. And I need to go somewhere to get my eyebrows thinned out.

Will you listen to me, fer crying out loud? Who am I?

Now, here is my question. Taking all that into I becoming a Metrosexual?

I think not. I think I'm safe as long as I still dress like shit. Which I do.

Hold me.


Blogger Lori said...

You are safe BTW consider yourself held LOL {{{hugs}}}.

Fish belly white LMAO.

6:41 AM  
Blogger Trinette said...

Haven't you heard? Fish belly white is the new tan.

6:46 AM  
Anonymous clair said...

I run from the sun, you'd be in good company if you'd stayed fish belly white LOL.

7:28 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Take it from a fellow Floridian who has already had a quarter sized chunk of skin cancer cut out of her arm ....don't do it!!! ( I LOVE LOVE LOVE the sun and tanning...or rather, I used to!)

Me??? I HATE being fish-belly white (at the moment, I am) I'm getting me one of those spray-on tans at a local spa. They say it only lasts 7-10 days but I look at it this cancer can last FOREVER.

Don't want to get all serious here because that's just NOT me...but I just had to this one time...;)

7:56 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Lori--Thanks! :)

Trinette--It IS? I have GOT to renew my subscription to GQ...

Clair--I just want a LITTLE color...

Stacy--Really? Now you've got me freaked out. Hey, let me know how the spray things works out, seriously.

8:14 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

A "sports facial". Ha. That's what they call it so you men can feel less metro and more MANLY because it's got SPORTS in the name. That's good marketing right there.

8:49 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Fish belly white is the new rage!! Wait is that just me cause my legs look that way. :)

Move over Lori I want to hold Mr. Fab too!! now what did we do with those handcuffs??

9:09 AM  
Blogger June Cleaver's Revenge said...

I'm with Stacy. DON'T DO IT.

I am a survivor of recurrent malignant melanoma. I had two surgeries and a course of chemotherapy (isolated limb perfusion) and I'm fine now, but trust me, a tan is not worth risking your life.

Better to be fish belly white than scarred... or dead.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Amber--It's manly! I swear!

Beady--Cuffs are fine, but no fire ants!

June--Oh crap. Really? OK, now I have to think about this. I really only want to do it for a little while.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous dreamwalker said...

If applied correctly the spray works just fine :)

I haven't had skin cancer, but there is a very high instance of it over here in Aotearoa..I'm not taking any chances.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

I hate the phrase metrosexual. I think it was coined to make men feel guilty about even *thinking* about their appearance.

Go for the fish-belly thing. Anomalous whiteness just might be a draw in the sea of leathered faces that is Florida.

And thanks for visiting my blog! Your comments are always so funny. How's the butt plug working out for you and Mrs. Fab?

2:24 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

I don't know if we could stand it if you were any MORE sexy than you already are!!! ;-)

Sweet Man is super white too. Right now he's finishing up treatment for pre-cancerous spots on both forearms. Years of golf with little to no sunscreen....

5:45 PM  
Blogger CrankyProf said...

Just make sure thye leave a "landing strip" or "dorito chip" when you have them wax your manbits.

7:28 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Dreamwalker--You guys have got me thinking now...

Erin---Working great! Thanks for the loan :)

Pissy--You're right, I better cut back on the sexiness...

CP--The only person besides Mrs. Fab allowed near my manbits is Phyllis Diller.

8:06 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

Don't do it - I've watched to many friends and family fight cancer - Fish Belly white is sexy...

trust me - I'm fish belly white - I have two colors - white and red.

9:12 PM  
Blogger Ocean said...

There is always the option of sunless tanning lotion. Instant tan. I have tried the Neturgena lotion it works good, even on face. Only thing is don't let it dry on your hands. Just do an area then wash your hands then do the next part.Works best if you apply it at night.

11:27 PM  
Blogger Clo said...

Come on! You're exagerating! You are not pale! The wall is, the T-shirt is, that's why you look pale.

And reading all those commentaries about cancer should make you seriously think of it.

Hey! I did something for you. I looked on Google to find proof that pale can be sexy. She what I found here and also this one I'm sure you're gonna love.
Now, be carefull, the next one is full erotica, some people may be shocked: click here !
And being pale sometimes has more value, except for the fact that it may makes your teeth looks a little bit yellow: see here !

Strange, I don't have the feeling that all those will help you, but it was fun!

11:37 PM  
Blogger Clo said...

Oups, for the last one, you have to go on the post of Monday, May 16, 2006.
Sorry for that!

11:44 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Fantastigirl--Hmm...OK. Maybe you guys are right.

Ocean--But how much do you have to buy? I mean, you can't use it all over, right?

Clo--Thanks for the links! I can alwasy count on you to come up with the good stuff! You nutter!

5:12 AM  
Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

I have (American) Indian and gypsy blood through my veins, so I tan more than easily, although I look pretty fair skinned in the winter. But if you ask me, BE CAREFUL! Don't overdo it. It's not worth it. You're great the way you are and your humour brings much more colour in you that any tan salon would :-)

1:54 PM  
Anonymous smluke said...

I've got a Tuesday mani and pedi? Want to come??

3:37 PM  

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