My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

I'm getting soft...


That's right. You heard me. Soft. Way down deep inside.

I had it all planned this morning. April First. April Fool's Day.

I was going to give Mrs. Fabulous a rude awakening. She likes to sleep in on the weekends, you know.

I was going to burst into the bedroom and wake her up and tell her to throw something on. I was going to explain in rush that the house next door was on fire and we had to get out before it spread, we had to get out right now.

I had it all set up. I practiced my bursting, my dashing, my worried look, my scared yet manly air of resolve.

I even had a sound effect of a siren I was going to play in the distance.

But when it came down to it, I couldn't pull the trigger. I woke her up like I always do, with a hug and a kiss.

I'm very disappointed in myself.

And she never even knew how close she came. Well, until she reads this post.

36 Comments:

Blogger Chelle said...

OMG that is SOOOO something my husband would do...and then laugh his ass aboaut it as I grumble my way back to bed!!! LOL hehe (told ya I'm not a morning person....lol)

10:45 AM  
Blogger Jozee said...

Lucky she let's you live! April Fool's! ;-)

11:05 AM  
Blogger Matthew S. Urdan said...

Hey, I've recently become a very big fan of your blog...I think your writing is great and often fucking hilarious. But I gotta tell ya, I was disappointed when I read this post....I was expecting more from you today, it being April Fool's and all. I agree, the fire prank was probably not a good idea, but the day is young! You can do better! Go for it!

Also, what's all this about you being the sexiest blogger out there. I admit it, I had to see what all the fuss was about, mostly since I wasn't nominated. But there aren't any pics of you on that site? How can you vote for the sexiest blogger if there aren't any pics?

I at least have a shirtless pic of me hanging out on my blog on my post of Ten Years of Rafting from mid-February that got me a few whistle calls.

Anyway, have a great day! And keep writing great stuff!

11:20 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Your not getting soft, you got farther than me hell I forget it was April Fools Day.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Nobody said...

That woulda been so fucked up...

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Ficklechick said...

I don't necessarily think that you're soft; I just think you're smart!

I know what I'd do to my husband if he did that to me! Does the name Lorena Bobbitt mean anything to you?

12:49 PM  
Anonymous B said...

What a shame! I'm a disappointed. That could have been a great prank.

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Heather said...

I had to warn my husband a week ago not to do something like that! So far he's been very good today.

I got him good one year. Way back when we had just moved in together we were talking about money. I told him that I should strip a few nights a week because those girls make some great money. He was so mad that I would even consider doing that. After arguing over it for about five minutes I started laughing and yelled "April Fools"!

1:59 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

awwww...I am so glad you couldn't go through with your mean plan!

A few tears ago I made my mil cry on April Fools. I sent her a joke ecard that said I was pregnant and then April Fools! She said she cried from joy and then she saw it was a joke! OOPS!

The year before that hubby freaked her out when he said he accidentaly killed my dog. My poor mil, we are giving her a break this year!

Have a great weekend Mr Fab!

2:13 PM  
Blogger ~Tamara Ann~ said...

I know you very well Brad, the day is not over and you will try something! OMG she talked on your blog! I bet your so proud of me!

2:25 PM  
Blogger Anne R. Key said...

Well, you might be disappointed in yourself, young man, but I'm very proud of you.

*smooch*

2:43 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Chelle--9 times out of 10 I would do it. I don't know why I didn't...

Jozee--That's probably why I didn't go through with it--self-preservation!

Matthew--Thanks for the props dude, sorry I let you down on the prank. There is a pic of me in a March post, I'll mention it again in the next post.

Beady--YOU forgot? Wow...

Nobody--Good idea while it lasted...

Fickle--Urp. You had to mention that...LOL

B--I bet YOU wouldn't have thought it was funny LOL

Heather--I like that one. Hmm...maybe I could do that...

Mimi--Wow, you guys are hardcore...

Tammy--You have come a long way from lurkerdom!

Anne--Then it was worth it! :)

3:06 PM  
Anonymous Kentucky Girl said...

Heh. That's funny. Yer a weeeeeeenie. lol

I got my husband with the salt/butter/heat trick. What a tool he is. lol

3:37 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

you won't be able to stand it!

before the day is over you'll do something~I'm sure! ;-)

4:16 PM  
Anonymous dreamwalker said...

Darn...I forgot all about it !!?? I was at work, missed some great opportunities. No one else remembered it either!

I'll bet you will do(did) something before the day is over :)
(I'm a day ahead and it confuses lil old me.) lol

4:33 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

If my hubby tried that, he would be lucky to escape with his life! I am so not a morning person...

6:03 PM  
Blogger Hale McKay said...

But in the end, I think you did the right thing. Maybe that was the April Fool's joke?

7:01 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Kentucky Girl--I don't know that trick. What is it? I must know?

Pissy--Nope, I've been on my best behavior :)

Dreamwalker--Why does everything think I'm a bad boy? LOL

Mel--But it's the best time of the day! LOL

Hale--Hey, I like the way you think! Maybe I can get ctrfit for this...

8:08 PM  
Blogger Jetting Through Life said...

I'd still get your wife!! It'd be fun!! I have never played a prank on my husband, but it would be awesome!

I agree with Matt!!!

XXOO,
JTL

8:25 PM  
Blogger marty said...

Was it one of these angel on one shoulder and devil on the other shoulder type of deals?

8:26 PM  
Blogger CP said...

OMG. I can't believe you didn't do it. I was so looking forward to her blogging your obituary.

CP.

9:19 PM  
Blogger Big Ben said...

Not nice to make people shit themselves...only if you took pictures.

9:34 PM  
Blogger Spider Walk said...

You're thoughtful, soft, witty, considerate, loving, and kind.
They obviously broke the mold after you were made, my friend!

10:09 PM  
Blogger CeCe said...

Yes, very smart man! It is good you didn't do something so stupid! We're all glad that you are living to see another day!
Verification word:nfukfod!

10:19 PM  
Blogger gunngirl said...

Actually, that would have been a good one. At least you didn't say your house. Only would have worked if the weather was good too.

But overall I think you made the safe choice.

10:28 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

If you were my husband - you would be dead...I would kill you for doing that to me... actually after an apartment fire, where he had to wake me in the middle of the night - we don't joke about shit like that!

10:51 PM  
Blogger Sandi said...

too funny:)

11:46 PM  
Blogger Clo said...

Unconciously, I think you just stop yourself because, come on:

DON'T YOU KNOW ON APRIL FOOL'S DAY YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN HOAK ABOUT SOMETHING RELATED WITH FISH, OR WATER?

My hubby knew that. Used to wake me up at 5 a.m. and tell there was water flowing from the ceiling in the bathroom. He even did that one two years in a row... *sigh* The proof that you can do anything with me before 6 a.m.

1:20 AM  
Anonymous neil said...

:) I laughed out loud reading this. Nice story....BUT i would have done it (he says with an evil grin)

Best wishes from Switzerland
Neil

3:10 AM  
Anonymous rob said...

You were not wise to let her escape this "rude awakening"!

Imagine, you were a softy, you buckled under pressure, and yes it's great that she is perhaps quite appreciative of your soft side.

But, you know this...next time when it is her turn, she will show you no mercy. She will dip your hands in cold water in your sleep so that you will wet your pants. She will smile wickedly as she tells you that your mother in law will pull into the drive way any minute now, and she will tell you that with a straight face.

Oh...what a mistake...too soft :)

3:19 AM  
Blogger Belinda said...

I think perhaps you don't realize what a brush with death YOU'VE just escaped.

And keep your yap shut, because Alex has not yet realized what day it is.

4:00 AM  
Blogger Belinda said...

Oh, and matthew..."sexy" is WAY more than just looks. And when you can pull off the Mr. Fab sex appeal without even revealing your physical appearance, well...that's POWER, Baby.

word verification: "heasy"

4:02 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

JTL--I'm still not sure why I didn't do it...

Marty--Pretty much!

CP--Oh, that's a nice thought, thanks! LOL

Ben--Another lovesly sentiment!

Spider Walk--How much do I have to pay you to say things like that? Because I'll put a check in the mail today!

CeCe--Yes, the old self-preservation instinct kicked in!

Gunn Girl--I think so too!

Fantastigirl--Yikes. I think that's why I wasn't going to say it was OUR house, too scary!

Sandi--Thanks!

Clo--Anything? :)

Neil--Hey, thanks for stopping by!

Rob, Oh, so you've met my wife? :)

Belinda--I would not have told Alex about it. He would have been too disappointed that I wussed out...

6:39 AM  
Blogger Ginnie said...

"...like [you] always do, with a hug and a kiss" is sooooo sweet. It won over your "rude awakening" because you are such a hard-core sensitive guy. You knew you could get her later doing something else. I'm so proud of you! :)

10:37 AM  
Blogger Clo said...

Anything! :O)

1:46 AM  
Blogger Tenacious T said...

Haha - too nice of you...and smart. ;)

4:31 PM  

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