My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Clearly I am out of control...


this is an audio post - click to play


OK, I hope I haven't jumped the shark with this schtick. Leave it to Cleavage was quite adamant that I do a dramatic reading of this song.


I hope the audio is OK. I did it from my cell phone. And it doesn't seem to be my normal voice. I seem to have been channeling...well, I don't who or what I was channeling but it ain't normal.


I think I went a little too dramatic.


************************************************************************************

Phone call yesterday at 5:30 PM:
Mrs. Fab: I'm going to be late tonight. Go ahead and order pizza if you want.
Me: OK, I'll see you when you get home.
Mrs. Fab: I'll call you before I leave the office.
Me: Why? Just come home.
Mrs. Fab: I want to give you a chance to get the lemurs out of our bed.


Do I talk about lemurs too much?

I couldn't get the spacing right for this post. Screw it. I'm no friggin' rocket scientist, that's for sure.

56 Comments:

Anonymous Blair Bitch said...

Ew. lol

5:26 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I can't hear your post. I never can hear the first time I try. I have to shut everything down, wait a few hours and try again. It doesn't happen with anything else!
ONLY with YOU!!!
Mrs. Fab never ceases to amaze me with her wisdom.

5:59 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Blair--Oh please, you were masurbating to it, fess up!

Lorraine--You know, I have someone like that too. I can't comment on his blog unless I close out of everything, go to my control panel, clear recent history, and then log in. So I feel your pain!

6:15 AM  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

Did you TELL Mrs Fab about the lemurs? Gosh you are in an honest open relationship... wow!

6:37 AM  
Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

LOL. Maybe you talk in your sleep??

6:49 AM  
Blogger kattbanjo said...

Lie down with lemurs, wake up with fleas
Cat

6:56 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Dutch--We are very liberal around here :)

CS--Anything is possible!

Cat--Not if you keep them properly groomed :)

7:09 AM  
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7:17 AM  
Blogger Leave It To Cleavage said...

Love spam comments. I loved that reading I thought it was very funny. Disturbing, but very funny.

7:34 AM  
Blogger Suze said...

This is knockout. Pure sex baby!

7:51 AM  
Blogger Pud said...

You might have a bit of a lemur obsession.

8:00 AM  
Blogger CrankyProf said...

It's good that your spouse recognizes your fetishes and does what she can to accomodate them.

Now, when she dresses up as a lemur for you, or helps you shake the little bastids out of the trees, you'll have gained true acceptance.

8:01 AM  
Blogger Sandi said...

do lemurs like pizza?

8:02 AM  
Blogger kattbanjo said...

O.K. I won't tease you about your lemur fetish. I have a closet bush baby angst myself. Saw them on Jeff Corwin.I Want one. NOW!

8:41 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

You are positively mad. It's a good thing that we, and most importantly, Mrs. Fab, love you that way!

8:50 AM  
Blogger ❉ pixie ❉ said...

I'm at work now and can't listen, but I'm uber excited to hear. I have to imagine it's a reading of "I touch myself". Is there any other divynals (sp?) song?

8:56 AM  
Blogger Jozee said...

Well, as long as the lemurs are willing. Mrs. Fab doesn't seem to mind.
Lucky for you she has a good sense of humor.

9:06 AM  
Blogger Jozee said...

The DaVinyl's do a sound track for silent film! LOL!

9:13 AM  
Blogger Lori said...

OH NO! OH NO!
That was great!
Can you do: Do you think I am sexy.
Pretty please with a cherry on top.

9:39 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Leave--See how much influence you have over me?

Suze--Thanks, babes :)

Pud--You think? :)

CP--I long for that day!

Sandi--No anchovies, though...

9:49 AM  
Blogger Tracy said...

Clearly YOU are a battle whore! :)

10:10 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

ooo when I heard this I touched myself and now I need a nap cause of my delicate condition. ;)

10:14 AM  
Blogger Tracy said...

Hmmmm, [ponders to self] who is the whore now?? My first battle of the day, your 12th perhaps?? :)

10:49 AM  
Blogger June Cleaver's Revenge said...

When I listened to the post, I imagined you reading it to your lemurs and now I can't stop laughing.

11:01 AM  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

damn, it's days like this that my work computer (which does NOT have any sound) really bums me out. :(

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Ficklechick said...

Don't forget to change the sheets......

11:16 AM  
Blogger Pandora said...

Hey Spam guy is down with the 413, I can find him... I wanna hear "Talk Dirty to me" by Poison...

11:37 AM  
Blogger michele said...

Dr.Phil can help you with
your lemur obsession.

12:24 PM  
Blogger Detroiter said...

This latest and greatest audio freakin' scared me. Toward the end you sounded like a evangelist on speed. If you ever lose your current job...

Lemurs in your marriage bed? Good grief! Them love muffins of yours need their own room, where they can plaster lemur porno on the walls.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

"OH NO! OH NO!"

Got a little carried away there, didn't ya?!?!?

*LMAO*

Now you need to do that song by (I think) Hot Chocolate...."I believe in miracles...where you from...you sexy thing..."

Please? ;-)

12:46 PM  
Blogger ablondeblogger said...

ROFLMAO! That was very, very creepy!

You should go back to actually singing!

12:55 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

your wife is giving you a chance to get them out of bed , it cant be too much longer before you can convince her to be in bed with them!

1:23 PM  
Blogger ❉ pixie ❉ said...

Is it wrong that I love these dramatic readings? Is it worse that they make me want to do one of my own?

1:43 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Speaking from experience, not all rocket scientists are really that smart. (Worked in a rocket lab) Plus, most of them are completely unworldly and can't figure out how to open a can of beans.

That was a little creet, btw. Poor Mrs. Fab - how's she holding up? Do the lemurs wear her clothes?

1:59 PM  
Blogger Chas Ravndal said...

hello there... hope you don't mind if I am adding you on my Queer Chef blog since they need there a glass of queer wine as well lol

3:59 PM  
Blogger Dreamwalker said...

The 'degrees' are a cover up for the real reason Matthew wants you to call him " 24 hours a day 7 days a week..." He listened to that audio post :)

Very Dramatic, I cant decide who you remind me of...Richard Burton or Meatloaf?

:D Thanks, I had a good laugh.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Karl said...

Ha, that dramatic reading is brilliant. Makes the song seem far less silly.

4:29 PM  
Blogger gunngirl said...

I know that song. :)

'I touch myself, I want you to love me..."

Could be incriminating.

5:00 PM  
Blogger MC said...

I am just imagining if a girl came home to that on her answering machine.

I think that would be an instant restraining order... or the best segment on a hidden camera show ever.

5:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

liberals, my ass!
you couldn't breathe, eat, or sleep without the attention you get here......
again.....liberals, my ass!!!

5:05 PM  
Blogger Ms Bees Knees said...

i understand entirely. i'm "that way" about honey badgers. *clears throat* now if you'll excuse me... i've got some badgers to groom.

5:50 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Catherine--Bush baby?

Shelli--Yeah, but it's scary inside my head! LOL

Pixie--Nope, that was pretty much it for them :)

Jozee--Yes, she has long supported my um...obsession

Lori--Another song request? LOL

Tracy--Battle whore queen!

Beady--You better lie down. Then you can touch yourself again!

June--They like it when I read to them!

Webmiztres--I'm sorry :(

Ficklechick--Nah, I like 'em soiled!

7:05 PM  
Anonymous Blair Bitch said...

NO! I said "ew" to Mrs. Fab telling you to get the lemurs out of your bed! As for your audio post, you're starting to sound almost Shakespearan, lol.

7:07 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Frenchy--Oh that's right, he's a local boy...

Michele--I don't care for the good doctor...

Detroiter--I think I would make a GREAT evangelist!

Pissy--I like that song, but I don't know...

ABB--You must have forgotten what it sounds like when I sing!

Bluepaintred--Ain't she grand?

Pixie--You should TOTALLY do one!

Erin--I keep her heavily sedated. She's cool with everything :)

Chas--I don't know what you are talking about, but I feel compelled to check it out..

Dreamy--I think I was shooting for the former and ended up with the latter LOL

Karl--Thanks, buddy!

Gunngirl--I sure hope so!

MC--Oh yes, hilarity will ensue!

Anon--Ok.........

MsBees--It is SO important to keep them clean :)

7:12 PM  
Blogger Plunky said...

You aren't a rocket scientist? OMG, I'm never coming back.

I just have to tell you that "I'm a Barbie Girl in a Barbie World" just came on. I think you should do a dramatic reading of that next...

7:56 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

(looks at watch) im still waiting for the nipple pics!

8:02 PM  
Blogger Leave It To Cleavage said...

I still liked it!! I thought it was great.

8:47 PM  
Blogger SupComTabz said...

alright... it's getting worse... *covers ears*

9:33 PM  
Blogger Some Girl said...

WOW! Very dramatic! I thought I was listening to Shakesphere but then I came to my senses and giggled. LOL

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Suzi said...

Superb! It sounds like you were channeling Boris Karloff.

P.S. Karl sent me ...

12:18 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Deb--Damn, that's another good one. Shoot, I already did the poll...

Bluepaintred--Careful what you wish for...

Leave--All for you, baby!

Tabz--Everyone is a critic LOL

Some Girl--Maybe I should be an actor...

Suzi--Karloff--very nice! Thanks for stopping by!

5:49 AM  
Blogger suze said...

that is so much better than the dramatic reading of MMMMBop that Will Smith did a number of years ago...

well done!

12:43 PM  
Blogger Me said...

alright, that made my day! oh wait, I was touching myself. THAT made my day. never mind.

7:07 PM  
Blogger MC said...

You just won the first weekly Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award from my blog.

http://rantocracy.blogspot.com/2006/05/culture-kills-pageant-of-transmundane.html

Hope you win another one soon.

7:18 PM  
Anonymous Schadenfreude said...

Bahahhahahahaha.

I don't wanna listen to anybody else /
When I listened to you /
I pee'ed myself.

7:30 PM  
Blogger MC said...

Award winner -> Tenant
Tenant -> Award Winner

Now you've been formally introduced.

9:03 PM  

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