My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Monday, May 22, 2006

I am a wait...winner! I am a winner!

The awards just keep piling up. Maybe I better build a virtual trophy case. Or perhaps not.

In any event, MC of Culture Kills...Wait, I Mean Cutlery has awarded to me the very first Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award.

I won it for my audio post of I Touch Myself. The award is bestowed on "one of the freakiest (in a funny way) things I've seen during a 7 day period".

Which is odd, of course, because he couldn't see the audiopost. But, being as he is Canadian, I am willing to cut him a little slack. After all, in Canada I think you can only go to school up through the eight grade. After that you either go to work in the snowball mines to support your family (if you are a male) or you marry your first cousin and raise a litter of babies with flippers (if you are a woman).

I'm pretty sure I read it in Newsweek.

I was disappointed to learn that there is no money attached to the award, but then I realized that even if there was, it would likely be Canadian money, and Canadian money is on a par with
expired green stamps as far as actual worth. So I reckon it's for the best.

So I am the very first winner of the award, which filled me with so much pride that I actually urinated on the floor in excitement. Now I have to concentrate on eventually being the first two time winner.

Maybe there will be some actual money with that.

Note: I actually had four posts for today, but that is just too fucking many. I'd have to hire an intern to keep up with the comments. So tomorrow I will post about who I am choosing as my very first tenant (a matter which is already causing me considerable angst and anxiety), and about the winning choice of my audio post poll.


Blogger Lorraine said...

I'm not only proud to be Canadian I'm anti-marriage!

5:17 AM  
Blogger Suze said...

Congratulations on the award and don't let it go to your head. :)

6:07 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Lorraine--You should be proud. I am pro Canada and anti-oatmeal.

Suze--Which head are you referring to? :)

7:03 AM  
Blogger Lori said...

Congrats on your award! Will there be an acceptance speech?

7:51 AM  
Anonymous 3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) said...

Damn! You're a star Mr. Fab!! Two awards??


And thanks for the information on Canadians. I had no idea! (You learn somethng everyday, when you hang around Pointless Drivel!)
;-)Afterall, your source is Newsweek.


9:17 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Congrats. You are a pretty funny dramatic reader. Well, plain and simple, you are just pretty funny.

10:30 AM  
Blogger kattbanjo said...

I am requesting dramatic reading of "I love the nightlife, I got to boogie"

10:36 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Lori--I have so many people to thank...LOL

3T--You can learn a lot from Newsweek. Who knew?

10:45 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Just remember when you get all super famous: we knew you WHEN! ;-)


11:05 AM  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...


11:31 AM  
Blogger Chelle said...

Hey now...are you dissing Canada?? Very NOT cool my friend!!! ;)

11:33 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Shelli--Well, thanks. I think you are a wicked good writer, so I take that as high praise!

Kattbanjo--That is an excellent choice!

Big Pissy--If by "super famous" you mean drunk and peeing on myself under an overpass, don't worry, I'll remember you guys!

Dawn--You KNOW I kid because I love. I adore our peeps to the north!

Chelle--Hey, you're one of us now!

12:51 PM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Wicked good? Really? *blushing*

And "wicked good"? Would you happen to be from New England originally? ;)

1:13 PM  
Blogger Karl said...

Congrats for being recognized. Perhaps your next dramatic reading should be something by The Pussycat Dolls.

Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don'tcha?!

3:06 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

ok so i put the I AM CANDIAN thing in teh wrong spot SUE ME apperently i only went till 8th grade!

4:12 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Shelli--I AM from New England, but form one of the good parts!

Karl--Day-um! You are the man! I have been wondering who did that song (I think I keep hearing it on a commercial) but I keep forgetting to look it up.

Bluepaintred--That's. Why. I. Blog. Slower. For. You. Guys. :)

4:30 PM  
Blogger MC said...

All this and the Blogmad accolade. You are turning into a regular Meryl Streep.

But to note that you are cutting me slack... didn't you know that being Canadian gives all citizens the ability to see sound, talk to birds and simultaneous be humble and boastful at the same time. And I'll have you know that our money is worth slightly more than expired green stamps, but alas, not as much as expired milk, which is a shame.

4:38 PM  
Blogger MC said...

Ok, I would ask that any slack you are cutting me to be applied to that comment, because... wow, I shouldn't drink at noon anymore.

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Tricia said...


Ew ... my flippers iching, and our 11 kids are squeeking, and my hubby just came in covered in snow I gotta go sweep him off. See ya!

4:53 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

MC--Talk all the slack you want, my friend. If I was Canadian I'd be drinking at noon too :)

Tricia--Keep those flippers moisturized! That's the key!

7:42 PM  
Blogger Dreamwalker said...


"transmundane...Existing or extending beyond the physical world." He saw you in another dimension. Canadians are tuned in to these things :)

9:44 PM  
Blogger Dreamwalker said...

That poll wouldn't let me vote twice..*pouting*

I want the "Talk like a deranged preacher in the pulpit" !! I would offer to bribe you with Kiwi $s, but they are worth even less than Canadian $s!!

9:51 PM  
Blogger MC said...

Of course, the name of the award/category is from the Simpsons... the pageant of the transmundane is the freak show, and since it was from a cartoon, I guess it does qualify as something that exists or extends beyond the physical world.

11:07 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Dreamy--I thought Canadians were mostly tuned to hockey and carnal relations with walruses...

I may do the preacher bit anyway. I like the thought of that.

MC--I love it when you get all existential and shit :)

5:49 AM  
Blogger Leave It To Cleavage said...

See, if you hadn't honored my request, you wouldn't have won!!! I still like the post, I thought it was a riot.

7:33 AM  
Blogger zhadi said...

I really have to get some time at work to listen to your audio blogs...doesn't work at home, for some reason!

Congrats, ya big palooka!

2:48 PM  
Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

"... or you marry your first cousin and raise a litter of babies with flippers (if you are a woman)." OMG! You mean I did everything wrong??

10:11 AM  

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