My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Pointless Drivel Contest: Who will take care of Mr. Fab?

OK, so Mrs. Fab and I were eating at Graziano's on the boardwalk at Daytona Beach, when our conversation turned to the seminar she has to attend in Tampa this week. It's a two day event. She'll go down on Thursday, stay overnight, and come back Friday evening.

She expressed concern about how I would get along without her for the better part of two days. She has very little confidence in my ability to survive, apparently. And from there the conversation drifted into what would become of me if she happened to die first.

I only have one backup plan, and that is that CP and I have an agreement to get together if Mrs. Fab and the Hotband ever get hit by a bus. She pointed out that was fine, but in actuality the odds of that were slim, and that we needed a plan that would cover every contingency.

Hence this contest. At stake, all the swell swag we picked up on Crap Quest '06. Every bit of this shit goes to the winner:

Here's the deal. In the comments, you need to convince Mrs. Fab why you would be the best person to take care of me in the event of her unfortunate demise. The arrangements, the capacity, the provisions...they are all up to you.

The contest will run through Friday May 5, Mrs. Fab will judge the entires over the weekend, and the winner will be announced on Monday. She alone will make the decision.

This contest is open to anyone, unlike the previous one that could not be won by people who knew me personally. Anything goes. And Mrs. Fab has given no other instructions in terms of what she is looking for. I don't know how much or how little detail she wants, or if she has a preference as to how you will provide for my well being. This contest is like Thunderdome--no rules, and anything goes.

A pair of my underwear may also be awarded, at the winner's discretion. Apparently some of you are real sickos (see comments on previous post).

So if you win, the good part is you get all this useless junk. The bad part is, once she kicks, I show up on your doorstep. Or I guess you could move here. We'd have plenty of room, what with her being dead and all.

Good luck!

55 Comments:

Blogger CrankyProf said...

Oh, I should be the one.

In addition to my stellar verbal abuse skills, I am conversant with modern law enforcement cuffing and restraint techniques. I can hogtie with the best of them! Duct tape is also a major player in my bondage repretoire.

We have a disused thrid floor which could be retrofitted with a restraint system -- and it has a large window that he could look out of, "Psycho"-mother style.

With a sluggish creek merely steps from the front door, there's no end to the algae and bugs to serve as meals.

Just find an animal carrier to fit him, and ship him up -- cargo class!

7:11 AM  
Blogger merlinprincesse said...

MY! I don't think I'm up to this! I can't even take care of the little moi....*snif*! Sorry Madame Fab, but you will have to live! Mbwhahahahahahaha!!!

7:29 AM  
Blogger Ginnie said...

I know this crushes you, Mr. Fab, but I can never tell if I'm coming or going, so I'm afraid I'd be more of a liability than an asset. So scratch me off the list. But I'll definitely watch to see how Mrs. Fab figures this one out!

8:12 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Mrs Fabulous has sooooo much to live for, she'll outlive me for sure...she'll outlive US ALL. I hope I'm a serious contender for the prize!

8:33 AM  
Blogger ❉ pixie ❉ said...

I've got nothing.

Crankyprof is all "chains and restraints"—me, I'd offer you a room, some wine, cheese, and steak, entertaining conversation, and plenty to do in the yard.

Nothing like the dream life that awaits you at cranky's place.

8:40 AM  
Blogger Sandi said...

Well, Mrs. Fab. Read my blog and you will know why I **am** the one.
Not only do I have experience with crazy men, I also live with two teenagers! Who could be more prepared than me?? huh??
Plus, the fact that I live in cold, snowy Minnesota and he would just love that...I mean, who wouldn't? right?
I can't wait to get my prizes! :)

9:07 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Oh honey, PlEASE!

Send him to me!!! do you KNOW how miserable he'd be in lower Alabama?!?!

No good restaurants, no bookstores, no culture, nothing to do unless you leave town....

I'd make him trudge the 5 miles at the park in the extreme heat while trying not to be run over by rednecks on the WAY to the park.

BUT: he'd have the newly re-done guestroom and he could hang out with me at the pool on his down time.

Or play golf with Sweet Man.

If you don't send him to me~I'd say go with crankyprof.

Sounds like that could be a good time.

9:16 AM  
Blogger Dr. Cissa Fireheart said...

I think Mr. Fab should be sent over to me. Well, me and Hubby.

Hubby's in the military, see. So he gets paid regularly, and we have full insurance. If we had Mr. Fab, he'd be taken care of. The only downside for Mr. Fab is that he would have to clean the house, and be used for manual labor every time we move -- which just happens to be about every 3 years or so. He would also be a live-in nanny to my two kids, which would be fine, becuase men, make the best jungle gyms anyway.

The best part? If we had him in our home as a "dependant" then we could upgrade to a bigger house, and I could finally get more space!!

Oh did I forget to mention that in Hubby's absence, when going out to sea, Mr. Fab would be my love slave as well? Well, now you know...all his needs woud be taken care of, and he's be useful around here...and yes, I have restraints, cuffs, and numerous sex toys to use on him! woot!

PICK ME!!

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Va Va Voom said...

Lol. Isn't he supposed to be taken care of not punished? Or is that the same thing to Mrs Fab?

10:09 AM  
Anonymous Nunya said...

That's some contest. I know my boy Vinnie "The Exterminator" Pomposelli could "take care of you" but that's a whole different story. But seriously, I'm so stumped about how I could properly "take care of you" that I just don't feel it necessary to enter. I'm so bummed I will not be receiving the goods. I hope for your sake, Mrs. Fab stays healthy and lives a long and fulfilling life.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

So far it seems like about as many people DON'T want custody of me as DO.

This hurts me. Hurts me way down deep inside. Where I am all soft and squishy and sensitive and shit.

I will now commence sobbing quietly.

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Nunya said...

Oh please. Stop your blubbering! Just go with your nifty back-up plan, hahahaha.

BTW, I reread your post and you think some of us are sickos while you have a "thing" for lemurs?! Ahem, take that back!

11:13 AM  
Blogger cherish said...

I think Mr. Fabulous should be sent to live with my family. We will take great care of him. We will feed, shelter and love him. We will tell everyone he is our "special uncle" from my husband's side of the family. I will personally treat him like I do my children, my doggie and my husband with TLC!

11:41 AM  
Blogger SupComTabz said...

Dear Mrs. Fabulous,

I can't say that I wish your demise, but in case it happens I want you to know that Mr. Fabulous will be very safe with me.

My accomdations offer a wonderful view of the nearby highway, so he can look out and see the traffic. We offer three square meals a day, his own bed and clothing (no need to pack and move him).

He'll be regularly excercised, at least once a day he'll engage in some form of physical labor and the best of education will be given to him.

There's no end to the fabulous one night stands he will have, I will make sure that he has lube availabe for it. Yet, all the time the incredible ache of missing you will be centered around his "rear section".

Did I mention there are no women in these accomidations? Therefore the only woman he has to think of is you, and of course me, but I'm a celibate virgin who will only be keeping an eye on him.

Yes Mrs. Fab, I think you'll like the accomidations here in Chicago.

Sincerely,
Tabz Rocks
Prision Warden......

12:08 PM  
Blogger Anne R. Key said...

Dear Mrs. Fab.,
This is why I would be the most appropriate and excellent choice to watch Mr. Fab for you in your absence.

As well you know, Mr. Fabulous needs to be amused at all times in order to keep him out of mischief. I am uniquely suited to do that, as I can do resaonably good impersonations of The Queen, Cher and Doctor Ruth, among others. Imagine the great joy Mr. Fabukous would evince in watching me enact conversations between these three very different women. Hours of amusement!

We also share similar tastes in music, so when the impersonations ran out we could share our love of cheesy i970s hits (including Bo Donaldson and the Heywood's "Billy, Don't Be A Hero").

In addition to these skills, I am also trained in restraints and takedown proceedures, as my partner's son has mental health issues that required me to learn them for my own safety. While Leon's mental health issues may be beyond the scope of this letter, I have no doubt you would find his restlessness and inability to pay attention for extended periods of time altogeteher too familiar.

Finally, and by no means least, I have a great deal of experience in dealing with people whose sexuality is ambiguous, unknown or undecided. I feel very confident that using a combination of tarot cards, short-term counselling and show-tune therapy, Mr. Fabulous would find a weekend with me most enlightening.

I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience, and thank you in advance for your attention to this matter. Should you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me at annerkey.blogspot.com.

Sincerely yours,

Anne R. Key

12:49 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

I love you Mr Fab but I could not take care of you. No one else will fit in the breadbox of a house the Navy has us stuffed in.And New England sucks anyway. I know Mrs Fab will find a loving home for you ;)

12:50 PM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I. Own. Lemurs.

Need I say more?

;)

1:17 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

Mrs. Fab,

In the event of your untimely death, do not leave Mr. Fab in the life of lavishness by being taken care of. Put him to work! Make him take care of me! I'll move right on in where he'll have to wait on me hand and foot. It's time he steps up to the plate, don't you think?

1:18 PM  
Blogger Tracy said...

I don't know if I want to be the one, but you are technically my roomie for the rest of the week! :)

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Luin said...

Well, really want those handcuffs...so here goes...

Why would I be the bestest?

Because I am unique.

I cook (I can do italian, chinese, german, souther, irish and heart healthy cuisine).

I clean (every night, before I go to bed I have to clean my apartment and mop my floors).

I sew and crochet.

I am certified in First Aid and have been since the 7th grade.

I am very smart, I have a 134 I.Q.

I have lived a very unique life...but I couldn't even go into that here - if you want to know, checkout my blog for a small small taste.

I sing. I attended LaGuardia Hs of Music and Art and the Performing Arts for voice (The "Fame" School) and can sing in english, italian, german, french and latin.

I throw lots of parties and go out drinking a lot so I do know how to have a good time.

I am a young college student, with young college student friends, so I'd be perfect for any mid-life crisis. But I am very stable, so I can pull him out of it when he needs to get over it.

I can respect his wishes to be burried next to you in the FORBIDDEN event of your passing.

2:13 PM  
Blogger T. said...

Fab,

Look at all these people clammoring to win you if your wife dies. You should truly feel loved.

I don't know how you feel about coming back up this way so I won't bid on you. Except to say that I'm pretty darn cute and if that's the kinda thing you're looking for then...

j/k

Good luck finding a new caretaker.

2:29 PM  
Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

Oh what could I ever offer him, Mrs Fab!! No Lemurs. Just a house in Canada with a sauna and a hot tub (in a year or so from now), taking care of the house while we work our butts off to feed and take care of him, an abundance of softwares to play with, a hunk of a hubby (he can watch), etc.

*Sigh*. We'll never win this beautiful prize!

2:32 PM  
Blogger Detroiter said...

Mrs. Fab, if you choose me, your husband will be included in family fun such as no-holds-barred farting matches and endless games of Name That Mold. And, year-round, Mr. Fab will enjoy the view outside his bedroom window. A stripper, who apparently can only afford bikinis, lives across the street. And she always takes her work home with her *wink wink*.

2:55 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

Wow! What a morbid contest! I like it!!

In the event of Mrs. Fab's untimely demise, should Mr. Fab come live with me and my hubby, he will live off of my cooking, which my husband thinks is fabulous, or the occasional meal of soup and frozen pizzas. For entertainment, we sit on our butts and play World of Warcraft. Occasionally, I need to do grocery shopping, so I would bring Mr. Fab along to help carry some bags.

Must like cats and dogs and be a non-smoker. All pets welcome except rodents and reptiles.

And if that doesn't work out, we might all have to move in with Luin, cause I love some good Chinese food! (Heck, I am ready to move in with her now!)

3:48 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

I would let Mrs. Fab give me all the instructions on how she wants him taking care off, for example when I should I feed him or let him out of the house, what kinda of choirs he must do, if he is allowed to have lemur sex orgies or must he give them up.
But he will have the finest of all living arrangements a room to himself and a computer so he can blog.

4:08 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Slightly morbid, dontcha think?

4:15 PM  
Blogger zhadi said...

Hmmm...I do want that skeleton surfer. Very much. So...

Mrs. Fab, while I could never hope to replace you as Mr. Fab's obvious soul mate, I do have a lot of experience taking care of large, sometimes unruly carnivores. I can provide plenty of red meat, a large and comfy enclosure, and as much beer as needed to make him happy. I am not a morning person, so there would be the comfort of the familiar when I stab him with a fork for being too perky before 10:00am.

While I don't own lemurs, I live four blocks from the San Francisco Zoo, which boasts a large and varied lemur population. And I promise to post bail for Mr. Fab when necessary and provide therapy for the lemurs so there won't be any lasting consequences.

4:16 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Mrs.Fab i'll take great care of
of him. He'll get tender loving
care and lots of jazz coffee.
Plus he can live here in sunny
california.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Chelle said...

Well damn.....I go away for a few days and you are on the auction block...er, well...so to speak...lol

5:30 PM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

I simply could not take care of anyone else. I have enough trouble taking care of everyone HERE. So, I wish everyone else the best in the contest, despite my desperate need for a good pair of handcuffs.

8:43 PM  
Blogger Hale McKay said...

Just pasing buy for a read and a laugh, and having succeeded there, will pass on the contest.

9:58 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Oh my! I am not really even sure what a lemur is so I guess I am out!! Pissy's town sounds like mine minus the park but double the rednecks, so of course you would just love it here. hmm although arent you from around here? LOL The question is would you come back?? I sure wouldnt.

10:39 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

Mrs Fab -

I be short and to the point - Mr Fab should come live with me - I am Fantastagirl - 'nuff said. Besides - If I am good enough for Mr Incredible - I certainly should be good enough for him.

10:43 PM  
Blogger CP said...

Um.

No.

See, here's the deal, to all you haters.

Mrs. Fab -

I decided to take care of your husband WAAAAAAAAAY back when. Back in the day when he didn't have all of these groupies running around. I promised to love, cherish and provide him with anal WAY before Mr. Fab became a Best of Blogger Sexies Male Blogger icon. I saw him for who he was, just like you did, well before he became the well-oiled blogger machine that he is now. I even offered to map out BOTH of our bus routes so that I could PLAN your untimely demise AND my husbands as well, so we could live happily ever after on a lemur farm. Woman to woman, do you NOT see how completely obsessed I must have been to have offered up a double homicide in order to be with your husband?

Plus, I am economically a better choice. I am a few hours away from you guys, so moving would be cheap. Another bonus? I am 20 minutes away from Billy the Pirate. I could assure your sexually ambiguous husband marital bliss from both a Princess and a Pirate? Hot lemur love, all day long, with a princess and a pirate.

Pissy would be allowed to visit, because she is my hot latina lovergirl and I would allow him conjugal visits.

I have an extraordinary vocabulary too. Aren't you impressed?

I am the first person on his sidebar. Does this mean nothing to you, woman?

I was also a very big supporter of your "Rusty Speculum" name choice. That means we have similar humor. I promise to roll my eyes at him constantly, whenever he gets cheesy and stupid, in honor of your memory.

I will build a shrine to you in my house, complete with ballgag so he cannot speak. He can only sit there and worship you in silence. I promise to stick my children in cages, in order to allow Mr. Fab to roam free in a safe environment.

I will see to it that he no longer masturbates in parking lots. At least, not without a convertable handy.

I will make sure he gives blood.

I will attire him in leopard print outfits and let him earn a living as a drag queen. He will dedicate each and every show to your honor.

Look, bottomline it, woman. I was here FAR longer than the groupies. To them, he is a passing fancy. To me? He was so much more than a bottle of Mr. Clean. And even if he could no longer blog, I would still take care of him and teach him to type with his toes. I would even take him for pedicures.

I am juicy prime rib...and I wipe my own ass. Surely that has to count for something, right?

I know he was crushing on Dan Marino once upon a time. I know he has since switched it up to Clive Owen!

FOR GODS SAKE...I REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS BORING!!!!

*sighs*

Okay, look. You're gonna be in Tampa this weekend. I live here. I will take you out to the best clubs, wine and dine you and beg you on hands and knees to turn over custody to me.

Have you ever seen a fat chick crawl? My nipples would scrape the concrete. It would be funny. You would laugh because I would plow you with drinks. Unless you don't drink. Then, I will plow you with...well, maybe I'll just plow you, period. That would be some girl on girl fun, eh?

PS: I know he hates Taffy. I live across the street from an A&W and will honor Chili Dog Wednesdays. I will make sure he has Crab Balls, and not the variety that requires a prescription. I have a "Howard" across the street, so I can give him back "used to be Howard". I will not allow anyone to hang prayer flags in his presence. I will remove my Tiffany lamp so that he can proudly display "The Head" on our coffee table. I will allow him to freely express his passion for Porky Pig whenever he feels the need.

For Gawd's sake, woman! Do you not see the love???

and...I'm spent.

The future ex Mrs. Fab,
CP.


HOLY CRAP. Word verification! I swear!!!

"jscpwcp"

Stands for "Jesus Says CP, With CP!"

I told you! I am Jesus endorsed! I am WWJD!!!

11:54 PM  
Blogger Belinda said...

Well, all she has to do is read my blog, especially any Alex-centric entries, to know what a seamless transition it would be for me. HOWEVER, that is not to say that I want the job, unless Alex is also in front of that bus. Because two of you? No way.

And I will send YOU prizes if you swear to never send me any part of your underwear.

12:58 AM  
Anonymous Kentucky Girl said...

Dang......this is a serious contest with that wonderful prize pack. lol

I've got nothing for him except a jar of peanut butter, a hot tub and a couple of dogs. I can't cook. I hire out cleaning services and lawn service, so I'm useless around the house.

Oh wait. We do have a fully stocked bar and take out menus. :P

1:50 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

OMG -- like I need another living being to take care of! Nooo!!!! And hee! I'm just thinkin' don't run in front of any buses or go skydiving or bungeejumping. Or volcano surveying. Or deep sea diving. Also, don't drive, walk, swim, or leave the house. Oh man -- Mrs. Fab. -- I'm sorry I can't take him in, but hopefully some wonderful woman will write in and fit the bill! Good luck, you two!

2:44 AM  
Blogger Leave It To Cleavage said...

Well, I only know how to take care of myself and my dog, but he's low maintenance. If you're low maintenance I'll take care of you too. I'll make sure you're fed, that you have water and that you get walked several times a day.

6:31 AM  
Blogger Sandi said...

Mrs. Fab,
I Know, I know. You have already chosen me in your mind, but we will let these other people go ahead and post.
It's ok..wink, wink...we KNOW where he really belongs and that is with moi...:)

8:13 AM  
Blogger Jozee said...

Dang, my kids are almost grown. If Mr Fab showed up bereft on my doorstep I guess I couldn't turn him away. Do those handcuffs fit him?

8:32 AM  
Blogger Blogarita said...

I'm gonna pass, because I don't want to have to...um, I mean, because I won the Velvet Elvis in the last contest, and I don't think it would be fair to everyone else if I won again.

9:28 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Mrs Fab. I would take extremely great care of Mr. Fab. I will happily put him up in the lil cabin we have here where I live. Sure he will be in the woods but he would have free roam of the place and he can do what he wants with all the wild creatures. I cook 3 meals a day so he will be well fed. I will even have a computer put in the cabin for him so he can blog all he wants to. He wants Lemurs I will go out and get the freshest lemurs there are for him. I will instal some type of communication system for when he needs something all he has to do is push a button and I will be right there to serve his every needs and desires. I will make sure he wears clean underwear everyday. My kiddos will keep him entertained for hours if he gets bored. OOOHH the possibilities of all the fun kinky stuff we could do together is just to overwhelming at the moment I need to go lie down.

12:30 PM  
Blogger JIN said...

hey I want that little blue bear!!!

Well, above everything, I kick ass well, darn well.

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Tricia said...

I don't know Mrs. Fab. I think you must already be a saint. :)

I'm not sure that I could take in another one like Mr. Fab, because you see I have my own guy that's already pretty much like your Mr. Fab. Oh sure, I could definitely provide a good home for Mr. Fab- especially if my own version wasn't around ... but TWO of them at once? Is anyone really up to that? I dunno.

Actually - maybe they'd be each others care taker? My hubby could bring out the inner metrosexual in Mr. Fab (which I know is already emerging) and teach him the joys of manicures, pedicures and fake nails. They would both drive my neighbors insane if they tag teamed them. Bonus since my neighbors already drive me mad!

Regular trips to the zoo would be provided in order for Mr. Fab to get his Lemur fix, and since he's facinated with odd and amazing animals he might come to love the reptiles that we keep as pets.

He'd make a lot of new friends since we have people popping over almost daily and at all times of the day or night I might add. I also know that Mr. Fab keeps late hours and I do as well so he'd have company on those late night/ early morning cruises through the internet.

If he came here to live with us in Canada he'd have to toughen up a bit for the winter weather, but then it's not so bad in Toronto. He might actually like wearing a big winter coat? They are sooooo stylish you know. We'd teach him how to skate if he wanted to.

yeah I think I'm up to the task. I mean if you read a few of the post on my site that are specifically about my husband you'll see that I'm dealing with a similar situation to yours already. I have the experience and know how to care for Mr. Fab.

2:05 PM  
Anonymous dreamwalker said...

I am late, so I hope I still have a chance. Does MrFab have any say in where he is to be sent??

Hmmm...I share my house with six large, looooong tailed, trained, housebroken lemurs.

:)

3:32 PM  
Blogger June Cleaver's Revenge said...

Mrs. Fab:

I'm bossy, vapid, ugly, hateful, dirty, nosey, conniving, fat, shrewish, lazy, stupid, poor, sloppy, and mean. Plus I have a whole bunch of kids he'd have to take care of, and I am a nag. I don't cook, I don't clean, and I don't work.

In other words, his life with me would make Mr. Fab remember how sweet life was with you.

~June

3:48 PM  
Blogger zhadi said...

WAIT a minute....I thought that the point of this contest was to assume that you and CP COULDN'T be together because of the odds of Hotband and Mrs. Fab getting kacked at the same time. I mean, hands down she's the obvious choice here (sorry everyone else, but dang me, read her comment!), but is she allowed to enter this contest given the scenario and conditions that you set? The rest of us mere mortals stand no chance to win the skeleton surfer if this is the case!

I am NOT obsessed with the skeleton surfer. I...I...just can't stop thinking about it, that's all. It's not like I'm stalking it or anything...

How come Florida gets all the cool stuff...grumble...mutter...

4:28 PM  
Blogger WriteWingNut said...

I cannot in good conscience enter this contest. I already have one overgrown child that I have a hard time taking care of (i.e. my husband, of course). And there would definitely be some sibling rivalry going on if I took in an orphan husband!

But I still want to win all that good crap, lol.

9:18 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Hell, I bow before CP...

There's even a CP in my word verification and a PHQ

It's a sign

4:59 AM  
Anonymous smluke said...

No thanks, I don't think I want him. I mean, he's great and all, but sooo high maintenance!

Personally, I think he would have a much better life with Tom from IT. There is REAL love between those guys. I see the sparkle every day. If you'd like him to set up for a long life with his (second) soul mate. Tom's your guy.

9:41 AM  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

Dear Mrs Fab,
I am the woman to take care of your Mr Fab and in that time make him the absolute man of your dreams. After I am done with him he will take care of your every need, without any questions asked, without any dispute... He will be putty in your hands...

BTW: can you send the handcuffs ahead of time? My one set I have here won't be enough...

1:17 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:07 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Dear Mrs. Fab:

Once you have shuffled off your mortal coil, you can rest in peace secure in the knowledge that my wife, kids, nay, our entire community will take excellent care of him. Free building materials are in abundance up here, at least until the Spring thaw in June. So housing isn't an issue.

And Mother Nature will provide him nourishment from the bounty of her bosom. Aged walrus meat is ideal for a man of Mr. Fab's proclivities, as well as seal flippers and caribou stomachs.

Finally, I can virtually promise you he'll find gainful employment. We seem to be going through sewage truck drivers at an alarming rate, but if he plays his cards right, i.e. sleeps with the mayor, he can get this prized position.

So send him to the Arctic once you are done with him. I promise we won't send him back.

6:14 PM  
Blogger CP said...

Okay, fine.

I decline the win. A valid point was made. The scenario was that I simply cannot have Fab because the chances of both of our spouses getting hit by buses were slim.

Sighs.

I guess I will have to stalk the Pirate instead.

Sucks.

Anyway, I like June's answer. She makes a valid point.

I was just hoping for an overgrown cabana boy to fan me at poolside and peel me some grapes.

CP.

1:20 AM  
Blogger Clo said...

Wow! The competition is really hot!

Well what can I say more than all those worderful ladies up here?

First, about sexuality: so much I can say, but I'll say just one thing, one book I have, "Sex for dummies"...

And I'm sure Mr. Fab will be enchanted to come live in Canada! With all the snow, and the snow, and the snow...

And I don't wake up early in the morning so he will have the PC just for him...

Oh, and I am a widow, so that give me a great experience of life, I'll know exactly how he will feel and how to handle him.

And... well, he is sooooooooo cuuuuute. :O)

2:53 AM  

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