My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

She likes me, she really likes me!

Last month I did a guest post for CP while was she laid up after "knee surgery". And even though I told her not to, she sent me a thank you gift:

The pictures aren't great, I took them with my cell phone. But now I have my very own Lemur Love Coffee Cup. They are very rare, you know.

Notice in the first picture how big and manly my hand is. I have big feet too. And you know what they say about big hands and feet...

Well, it ain't true. FYI.

Now, I don't drink coffee. But that's not a problem. I've got a use for the cup. A vital use.

It is now my new lemur semen collection and storage receptacle.

Lemur semen is a valuable and versatile commodity. I shave with it, I gargle with it, I spread it on toast, I mix it with tuna when I run out of mayo, I use it as a floor wax, and I use it as a salad dressing. I use also it as a glass cleaner, hair gel, a fuel additive, nail polish remover, artificial sweetener, and cough syrup.

Now I'm thirsty. Guess what for?

If you haven't entered the Who Will Take Care of Mr. Fab Contest, please do so (see post below). It's the contest that's sweeping the nation!


Blogger Spider Walk said...

I had no idea Lemurs had sooo many uses!

I hope you quench your thirst soon. I think I will stick to my morning coffee though :)

I would really like to enter your contest, but I honestly have no idea how I would take care of you!

5:47 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Now why didnt you mention that in the contest post, I would have begged Mrs. Fab...for you, to hell with the fact that I'll die before she does, I'll BE the Damnest, most caretaking ghost EVER!

5:57 AM  
Blogger Detroiter said...

Just how do you get these lemurs to give up that semen? If I ever see a lemur porn video, PETA will be contacted. After masturbating. Of course.

7:23 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Best. Coffee. Mug. Ever.


7:27 AM  
Blogger ❉ pixie ❉ said...

You are one sick, sick man.

8:03 AM  
Blogger Sandi said...

gag. That's right. You made me gag over my morning oatmeal cookie, urr I mean oatmeal! oatmeal!

cool cup though.

8:08 AM  
Blogger Lori said...

Lemur Lover!
Hey does lemur semen make great facial cream?

8:15 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Hmmm...I always heard if you had a big ;)

8:19 AM  
Blogger Jozee said...

If you watch Zaboomafoo closely you can see his lemur parts before he turns into a puppet. Porn on PBS - who knew?

8:34 AM  
Blogger Blogarita said...

I prefer a little Red Bull myself.

9:31 AM  
Blogger Pud said...

Lemur: The other white meat.

10:06 AM  
Blogger D said...

Stacy, I agree with the big nose comment.

Great cup!

10:10 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

You forgot wrinkle cream, stain remover and lemur semen chowder.

However, I think I would stick to tea or hot chocolate.

10:37 AM  
Blogger Dramedy Girl said...

Lemur Love there's nothing like it. I think using the cup as a sperm recepticle is a fine idea, just don't get confused and drink it by accident!

10:41 AM  
Blogger Anne R. Key said...

I think I feel vaguely ill. Blerg.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Hey Mr Fab - I've missed visiting you while I was sick! Very cool Lemur Mug might I add... ;)

11:07 AM  
Blogger Billy said...

CP just effin rocks.

as do you Fab, that lemur pic is getting around I see.

11:34 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I need a few lemurs around here. Their semen seems to take care of everything. ;)

12:33 PM  
Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

Big nose. YES! LOL! If it's a good floor wax, send me a bucket, will ya?

12:40 PM  
Anonymous Nunya said...

Whatever floats your boat. My 9th grade English teacher drank goat sperm to give him energy so I'm sure lemur sperm have some good qualities, too.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Pandora said...

Just wanted to thank ya for the fabulous weather.. I am just about to take a dip in the pool..

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Tricia said...

OMG you're too much! LOL Does CP approve of your use of the lovely mug that she gave you?

I've heard that Lemur semen makes a great salad dressing. Have you tried that yet?

1:36 PM  
Anonymous dreamwalker said...

Dang...there goes my breakfast!!

Great mug...but that HAND, is the biggest, sexiest hand I have EVER seen :)
*fanning self in futile attempt to cool down*

3:04 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Eeew. *grimaces in disgust*

Now that's an audio post I'd like to hear - the collection of lemur semen.

3:28 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Spidey--You can still have your coffee, but instead of adding cream...

Lorraine--Ghosts scare me. Why would you want to frighten me?

Detroiter--Lemur porn is HAWT!

Pissy--Ain't it da bomb?

Pixie--Yes I am. And I am definitely an aquired taste.

Sandi--Sometimes I gag too. You'd be surprised how hung some of those lemurs are!

Lori--You know it does! My skin has never been softer!

Stacy--Hmm...I think my nose is proportional :(

Jozee--Well, I'm sure it's classy porn. Very educational :)

Blogarita--Bull semen?

Pud--Good point! They're great to throw on the grill, too!

Dene--Another advocate of big noses...I'll have to look into this...

3:48 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Lynda--Mmm...that's good chowdah!

Shelly--Oh no, it's good to drink as well. Yum!

Anne--Then my work here is done :)

Rebecca--I'm glad you're feeling better!

Billy--Damn I should have pointed out that you were the one who provided it! My bad!

Beady--I recommend it!

CS--A whole bucket? You got it!

Nunya--Well sure, who among us has not drank goat sperm?

FCL--Told you'd I'd take careof you weather-wise! :)

3:54 PM  
Blogger kari said...

That hand looks very that from the parking lot masturbation?

6:00 PM  
Blogger Attila The Mom said...

Whoa, Dude!

I don't think I'm ever going to be able to look at tuna salad the same way again!

6:19 PM  
Blogger gunngirl said...

LOL you put that pic on a mug. I don't believe it.

I'm not even touching the lemur semen comment.

6:36 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Kari-How did you know? LOL

Attila--You haven't tried tuna salad until you've tried mine!

Gunngirl--Now don't you play innocent with me, young lady! LOL

Dreamy--Thanks for noticing! :)

Erin--That is a good idea for an audio post. Lots of squealing...

Tricia--I am sure that CP would greatly approve!

7:17 PM  
Blogger WriteWingNut said...

You forgot "feminine wash" in your list of uses, and I know that was a purposeful omission (because we're on to your gayness!)

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

very nice cup.

I'm speechless on the uses for lemur sperm....

It's wouldn't let me use my blogger id

10:45 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

so sorry mr fab, i really wanted to enter the contest but we found out the morning that the contest opened that our son was having surgery the very next day ... talk about short notice! cant take the time to do much more then read a few blogs and offer a few select quick commets.... however had i won i would have insisted the lemur cup came with so i could try it out on various things... i have such a stubborn cough !

11:58 PM  
Blogger shirley said...

A picture like that shouldn't be on a cup. You'd forget what you were drinking and try to lick the lemur instead. It's just poor planning for someone like you!

12:07 AM  
Blogger christina said...

Note to self: never read Mr. Fab's blog before breakfast. ;-D

2:01 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

WWN--You're on to me!

Peebugg--Oh, I think you of all people weren't all that surprised, am I right? :)

Bluepaintred--Hopefully all is well with your son, I will think good thoughts. And yes, it will cure the common cough!

Christina--I would have thought that would be an obvius rule :)

Shirley--Not so, I can do both. I am a multitasking bastard!

5:12 AM  
Blogger ShooShoo said...

I'm with Erin, both for the "ewww" and the audio post idea. Man your readers/commenters are cracking me up as much as you do! :) Great before-bed laughter...

Thanks for the funny stuff, y'all.

3:19 AM  

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