My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Yeah yeah, I see the crater...what happened to Styx?

this is an audio post - click to play

In other news, Mrs. Fab and I went out to dinner last night (Dill crusted salmon, Mmmmmmm). Our waitress had to be sixty years old if she was a day. Yet she had very blond hair and pigtails.

What's the cutoff point for pigtails? Ten years old? Twelve, tops?

Oldest. Heidi. Ever.

49 Comments:

Blogger Blogarita said...

Did she show you her glockenspiel?

5:33 AM  
Anonymous Blair Bitch said...

When I was in Vegas a few years ago, I went to Coyote Ugly and ugly was right! Seeing a 50-some year old woman in just a leather vest that was clearly too small for her very fake boobs (but I guess that was the point!) was very scary!

6:16 AM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

...unless her name was Helga. If your name is Helga, it's mandatory.

7:32 AM  
Blogger marty said...

Agree w/Blair, geriatric cocktail waitresses in Vegas (and particularly Laughlin, NV) can be a prob.

Perhaps if we're talking Ann-Margret, Raquel Welch, less prob.

7:55 AM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest anything over 10 is too old...

7:56 AM  
Blogger Lori said...

Damm there went my school girl fantasies.
And I think a parody of Im too sexy would be just fantabulous! ;)

7:58 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I had pigtales a few years ago...but it was for a Halloween costume. Before that? Um...I think I was seven.

;)

8:09 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

And dammit man! I thought that audio would be you singing "I'm Too Sexy"!

You are working on that parody even as I type this right??? ;)

8:12 AM  
Blogger Suze said...

I can't wait to hear your rendition of "I'm too sexy".

As for the pigtails 60 is way too old, especially when accompanied with a gymslip. :0

8:52 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Blogarita--Ugh, no way!

Blair Bitch--Hmm..I guess I got off easy then. So to speak.

Saur--Good point. There was no accent though...

Marty--Are they still alive? LOL

Fantastagirl-I would tend to agree!

8:58 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

When I see supermodels with pigtails, I just go into shock. Last time I was in pigtails, my grandma asked if she could style my hair the way she did for her kids. I was 20. When she was done, I said, "Oma, I am not 12 anymore!"

I am still laughing about the world's oldest Heidi! ROFL!

If you want help with that parody, I would be happy to help you. I often make parodies of songs. One day I will have to post my version of "She's a Maniac" that I did for my husband.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Maidink said...

The St Pauli Girl on Geritol. What a vision.

9:06 AM  
Blogger speckledpup said...

Cut off point for pigtails is 10 on a girl.
Cut off point for a ponytail is 1 on a guy.

I'm tellin' ya.

Have a great weekend Mr. Fab.

9:24 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Eeeewww... that's gross!!!!!!!!
And, that IS Florida... ;)
Kidding. :)

Tell Mrs. Fab. "Happy Mother's Day"!

9:26 AM  
Blogger Sandi said...

The next Weird Al.....I cannot wait!

an yes, 60 is a bit old for pigtails..even my 14 yr old daughter passed that stage about 5 years ago.

but hey, at least you didn't get any hairs in your food! :)

9:27 AM  
Blogger Attila The Mom said...

"Dill crusted salmon, Mmmmmmm"

I don't know why it is, but whenever I hear about food being "crusted", it makes me think about eye boogers or something equally as yucky (toe jam?)

blech.

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Amanda said...

I am having a psychcic vision: You had dinner at Northwest Grille and your waitress's name was Lou.

Creepy, huh?

9:41 AM  
Blogger T said...

uh oh Mr. Fab- did you just get busted? And I hate to say it but I still wear pigtails. My hair is so broken from going red to blonde its too short to pull back in places. But I'm telling you- pigtails, black funky glasses... it works somehow.

9:47 AM  
Blogger shelligirl said...

That is just weird.

9:49 AM  
Blogger Serra said...

I can't listen to your audio post, so I have to assume that's where Styx comes in. As for what happened to them, they're still touring--I saw them last summer in Saginaw.

9:56 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I say Way to go Granny and add a purple streak!!!!! oh yeah
I too thought I'm too sexy was about to reach my ears, I was sad and my cat miaowed, oh well!

10:11 AM  
Blogger D said...

Equal pigtails for all!

11:14 AM  
Blogger gunngirl said...

Wow, when I go to Vegas I'll have to check out the waitresses. They don't look like that on CSI.

I think the cut off point is even before twelve.

Bwah! to the audio post. dodging death rays but you want your music. Hey, I'm with ya. Like LL Cool J said:

"You know I can't live without my radio!"

11:54 AM  
Blogger Chelle said...

omg I think it's disgusting to see older women (or anyone ever the age of 12!!!) wearing pigtails! WHAT asre they thinking?? LOL I mean com eon..there ar other ways to keep that youthful appearance. Oil of Olay for instance...lol Pigtails?? UGH....give me a break. The poor woman probably thought she lookd so cute, too...lol

11:58 AM  
Blogger Mimi said...

I don't know what the age cutoff is. But someone should cut hers off.

12:33 PM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Cut off time is 10 with a few exceptions.
I can't wait to hear your parody!

12:43 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

In her mind, she thinks she is timeless. That or somebody told her that and she believed them.

1:05 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

stop . wait. now hold on just one freaking minute!


i am 26 - soon to be 27 and poney tails are what i do , one, two twelve. i dye each one a new color, i use bows and shiny stays. i tie them in knots i braid the pony tails...


pony tails are FUN ~ granted i dont do it when i am about to go out for a nice supped or meet the president of the bank and some shit, but a good pony tail helps a man ride the horse LMAO

1:53 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Lynda--Ooh, a fellow parody fan! Excellent!

Maidink--THAT is a great way to put it!

Pup--I would have to agree. You ahve a great weekend too, Pup!

Rebecca--I will, and the same to you :)

Lori--You have school girl fantasies about Heidi?

Stacy--I will definitely try to do the parody!

Suze--OK, I'll bite. What is a gymslip?

2:02 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Sandi--Well, I usually eat too fast to notice any hair in the food...

Attila--Toe jam? I spread it on my toast in the morning. Mmmmm good!

Amanda--Right on the first one, I don't know what her name was though. Spooky.

T--I've seen a picure, you're right, it does work!

Shelli--It is, and thanks for stopping by!

Serra--Actually, it has nothing to do with Styx, but it's nice to know they are still getting work!

2:14 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Lorraine--I promise you I will do it, and then you will be very evry sorry!

Dene--Death to pigtales!

Gunn Girl--Word up!

Chelle--I shuld have snapped a picture. Damn!

Mimi--My thoughts exactly!

Beady--10 sounds about right.

Pud--Some people will be believe anything!


Bluepaintred--LMAO Well, if you put it that way...

2:18 PM  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

Why didn't you decide on a "cutt off point" right then and there... I am sure you had some sort of sharp object with you... You need to protect Mrs Fab when you go out... would have been perfect to cut off the pigtails and I am sure you would have done her an additional favor in reshaping her coiffure... You'd be great at that... I think...

Or did you make Mrs Fab do her hair in pigtails when you came home? Secretly...???

2:31 PM  
Blogger CyberCelt said...

It is quite probably due to heat. If you are in the restaurant business, you must secure your hair away from your face and the food you serve.

Pulling your hair back is good, but the hair hangs on your neck and the air does not flow. Pigtails, on the other hand, keep the hair up off the scalp and neck and create air currents when you move.

It is usually about 90 degrees in the kitchen and wait staff usually are walking nonstop carrying weight.

Just be glad ou are not 60 and waiting tables. There, but for the grace of God, go I ...

2:43 PM  
Blogger ablondeblogger said...

Make that four votes for wanting to hear you sing "I'm Too Sexy!"

3:00 PM  
Blogger sEa said...

if the cut-off age for pigtails is 10-12, then i guess ms. fab will have to give up her school uniform as well... can't have it both ways, fab-o

5:02 PM  
Anonymous Cindy said...

LMAO Was it Cindy Brady? *snicker*

5:26 PM  
Blogger Cat said...

Dammit, I wear pigtails and I'm in my 30's...

5:28 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Pigtails on an old woman,
can't be too pretty.That's
what ever happened to baby
jane stuff..everybody run!

5:44 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Not having satellite radio myself, I wondering if you'd heard Bob Dylan's new radio show?

5:51 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

DutchBitch--So...you are assuming I am some sort of psychopath? :)

Cybercelt--Wow, that was a well thought out and reasoned reply...

ABB--I'm gonna do it LOL

sEa==Do you have cameras in my house? LOL

Cindy--All grown up? Hmm...maybe...

Cat--Well, on YOU...much better!

Michele--It WAS a little freaky...

Nanuk--Not yet, but I've heard promos for it.

6:52 PM  
Blogger Pandora said...

I still wear pigtails, hubby says they make great handle bars, *wink* *wink*

9:06 PM  
Blogger Big Ben said...

You crack me up Fab.

We used to make fun of a girl in high school who had pig tails.

I made them work for myself.

9:18 PM  
Blogger jkirlin said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:20 PM  
Blogger jkirlin said...

Yeah, but it she calls you dear or honey, I'd still tip her more.

That Ukrainain politician wears a fake braid.

9:22 PM  
Blogger merlinprincesse said...

Live and let live man! :)

9:36 PM  
Blogger CeCe said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE pigtails. And I'm 25. I can't wait until my hair is long enough for pigtails again! So :P

1:34 AM  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

Uhm... NO... Unless cutting off pigtails is considered psychopathic in your neck of the woods...

2:04 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

FCL--Gosh, thanks for the visual! LOL

Big Ben--That is SO you. Always adapting to the situation!

JKirlin--It's the south. Everyone says dear and honey!

MP--NO! LOL

CeCe--Well, YOU can get away with it! But trust me, this woman could not :)

DutchBitch--I don't know how you do things over there in Tulip Land...LOL

2:25 AM  
Blogger Spider Walk said...

You have my vote for the parody too.

I was listening to your voice post earlier today, and my son walked into the room and jumped 3 feet off the ground...lmao! Your voice scared the crap out him Mr.Fab...he thought I had a "strange" man in the office with me. Hahahaaa!!!

11:00 PM  

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