My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Hazards in the workplace

My assistant Jennifer anally raped me yesterday at work. And she didn't use any lube. She just rammed it in dry. I hate that. I was bleeding all the rest of the day.

It's a metaphor. But that doesn't make it any less true. As soon as she reads this she'll be all "WONK WONK WONK WONK WONK" just like when the adults talk in Peanut cartoons.

Speaking of anal rape, I won't be around tonight. Korean BBQ Karaoke Night!

Actually, I don't know what the two have to do with each other. I just like writing about anal rape.

So much for me watching my mouth with my sister around.

24 Comments:

Blogger Shelli said...

Nonsense on cleaning up the place now that I am around. I like your potty mouth. It makes me feel like I am at home, you know, in prison.

11:14 PM  
Blogger MC said...

Well, tomorrow when you are experiencing the other end of a Korean BBQ, anal rape will be on your mind, because you are in for some pain!

11:26 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Yuck, yuck, yuck-yuck-yuck.

2:08 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Shelli--Oh really? I thought you spent most of your time in solitary, away from the other cons in the general population, after that incident where you shanked that bitch in the shower...

MC--Oh no! We ate there last time. We're not gonna do that again. Ugh. We're meeting at 7 and going right into the room. We'll eat somewhere else beforehand. We learned our lesson.

Erin--Well gosh Erin, if you've never tried it, how can you be so sure? :)

5:00 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I think Jennifer is being properly provoked...all bets are off!
A Korean BBQ...is that like a last meal?

5:02 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Lorraine--Oh no, you did NOT just take her side, did you? I'll have to hear about this for days now LOL

5:26 AM  
Blogger Suze said...

Oooh, you potty mouth. Well that's quite a novelty Korean BBQ. I hope you can sit down following your anal rape. LOL.

7:48 AM  
Blogger Leave It To Cleavage said...

That does not sound enjoyable.

8:19 AM  
Blogger ❉ pixie ❉ said...

You are a strange man. A wonderful, fabulous strange man. I'm so glad I found you.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Only you could get "anal rape" and "Korean BBQ Karaoke" in one blog post and have it be funny.

;)

10:04 AM  
Blogger CrankyProf said...

You engaged in your very own Cornhole Classic!

I'm so proud!

10:06 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Suze--Alas, karaoke has been cancelled again. Maybe next week...

Of course, the anal rape is still on :)

Leave--It depends. You have to be POSITIVE about it!

Pixie--Thank you my friend, I needed that today!

Stacy--I like to think I was channeling you on that one LOL

10:06 AM  
Anonymous Ficklechick said...

Ouch! I hate when that happens. ;)

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to thank Lorraine. It seems as though she is getting to know Mr. Fab and not just the facade he puts on. I am always provoked, I just don't usally act on it.

-Jennifer

11:58 AM  
Blogger kattbanjo said...

EWWWWW!!!!

12:13 PM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwww

1:13 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

ok sweety... its NOT rape when you beg for it!

seriously ... i tried it, it doesnt work.. i mean if your on your Knees its like there is a sign printed on your....uh.... nevermind

1:19 PM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I feel your pain....

p.s.
have some korean bbq for me :)

1:20 PM  
Blogger ablondeblogger said...

You know you're totally going to get the creepiest google hits now after that post, don't you?

I guess it can't be any worse than "lemur sex" hits!

4:38 PM  
Blogger marty said...

Can you sing "I Touch Myself" in Korean?

6:44 AM  
Blogger Matthew S. Urdan said...

Yeah? Try separating your shoulder at a work meeting/softball game. I'll take the anal reaming, thank you very much! Owee!

5:22 PM  
Blogger Tracy said...

LOL! I always knew you were a whore!:)

7:58 PM  
Anonymous smlooookie said...

Rapes are common there. I fell as if I'm bent over most of the time too.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous smlooookie said...

spell checking. I fell, and FEEL, raped. Geez. Watev!

1:37 PM  

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