My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

The official drink of Pointless Drivel (plus strippers!)

We here at Pointless Drivel are always looking for marketing opportunities. Or sponsorship opportunities. Or something. I forget exactly what we are always looking for. Brand awareness? Something to do with synergy? I'll think of it eventually.

Anyway...we have now identified the libation which will now be the signature drink of Pointless Drivel. The perfect concoction with which to unwind after a hard day of work while you peruse this site and call out to your spouse (or pet) "Hey, he's really off his fucking rocker this time!"

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the potato daquiri!
Refreshing and delicious and good for you. It's got it all!

Take two Idaho potatoes and toss 'em in the blender. Add about 24 ounces of rum. Add some grated cheese, and maybe some sour cream, some butter (or margarine for those of you watching your girlish figure), and a sprig or two of parsley.

Hit the button on that puppy* and watch it all magically transform itself into the stuff that dreams are made of!

Voila! Or Shazam! Or...I'll get back to you on that as well.

My renter, Jen, loves these. After just two of them, she will show you her Richard Nixon tattoo. It's really quite beautiful. If you have not yet visited her, pop on over and ask to see it.

Man, sounds so good I'm gonna mix up a batch right now. Can I get you one?

*When I say "puppy" I really mean the blender. Puppies have no buttons.

************************************************************************************************

I need someone to back me up here. I can't for the life of me remember how the subject came up the other day...oh wait, yes I do. They are building one of those adult superstores in a small town just north of here, and there has been talk that there will be live entertainment.

I offered, when it opened, to take Mrs. Fab there and buy her a lapdance. It did not compute.

"I don't want to watch you get a lapdance."

"No, not me, you."

"I don't want some guy rubbing up against me."

"No, a girl. I'll buy you a lapdance from a girl."

"What are you talking about? That's crazy! Some girl grinding on me? You're weird."

"No, it is a very common thing for couples to go to strip clubs and for women to get lapdances."

"No it isn't. You're out of your fucking mind! Again! What the fuck? You've got a replacement picked out when I die, you've got us moving to Holland with other women. Women giving women lapdances? You're crazy."

Am I right, people? Can I get an amen from somebody? She absolutely does not believe this happens.

In actuality I am not a strip club kind of guy. And I would never take her to one. And I would never buy her a lapdance. But once she acted so disbelieving, I just had to run with it.

Anyone?

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52 Comments:

Blogger shelligirl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:36 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

I have never been to a strip club with my husband, or at all for that matter, but, in spite of all the talk to the contrary, I am kind of naive and sheltered, so I wouldn't take any advice from me on this subject.

I was the first commenter, but I posted under the wrong identity. Now doesn't that make you all wonder! ;-)

4:37 AM  
Anonymous Luin said...

Potato Daquiri? I like it. But then I'm Irish, give me a potato IV drip and I'm happy.

Lap dances from girls? I get lap dances from girls all the time. Lots of fun. But then I'm bisexual, so it probably isnt the same.

4:49 AM  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

Will you make me a Wattenstaafje cocktail as well? You know, the scrumptious daiquiri drink made from rum and tulips?

5:27 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

How about a Strawberry Margarita stirred with a fry?
Lap dance from a woman, for me?
mmm, as long as I can take photos!

5:59 AM  
Anonymous Blair Bitch said...

Did you say 24 ounces of rum? Can you say alcohol poisoning?

I had a lap dance once. It was almost as exciting as the time I had my nails filed with a cheese grater. Okay the latter never happened but I did laugh through the entire lap dance.

7:57 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

It happens...I've witnessed it...and paid for it on more than one occasion.

8:09 AM  
Blogger Leave It To Cleavage said...

Well my friend and I were saying that we would much rather get lap dances from women then from men (we're both women). I can't stand the male strippers. It sounds kind of like Mrs. Fab has my affliction this week. I would get her some chocolate and some flowers and just back away slowly. I'm surprised she didn't mention your strange lemur addiction as well.

8:19 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Shelli--Do you have multiple personalities, sis?

Luin--For my money, there are just not enough Irish bisexuals in the blogging world!

Dutchy--You know I will!

Lorraine--A bit of the wild side of Lorraine comes out today...

Blair--Not only can I say alcohol posioning, I'm sure I've had it!

Mike--Well, obviously you have. You, my friend, are a reprobate. Which is why we love you.

Leave--That is good advice. I think I am going to put you on staff.

8:40 AM  
Blogger Finn said...

*Raises hand* Been to strip clubs on several occasions (with hubby and a group of friends). Had lap dance. Been felt up, etc.

Yes, it happens. And it's fucking hysterical. ;)

8:48 AM  
Blogger marty said...

If you don't like potatoes, will it work for zucchini, broccoli, or squash? The broccoli daiquiri sounds most appealing. Drunk and Farting?

9:03 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Why? Who told you that?! Was it that other girl? I'm going to have to have a talk with her...

...Okay. She is under control now and won't be bothering you anymore.

9:23 AM  
Blogger Lori said...

I took my bf to the local strip club (all nude)and we had a lap dance I sat on his lap while she did her thing it was freakin fantabulous.

9:48 AM  
Blogger Spider Walk said...

Mr.Fab,
You are Nucking Futs!!

10:00 AM  
Blogger Libragirl said...

I've been lapdanced by a male and a female. It's more funny and awkward then sexy. I'm just saying

10:14 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Megan--You always were the wild one in the family...

Marty--Now you are just being ridiculous...

Shelli--Between you and Megan...How weird have things gotten when Pup is the normal sister? :)

Lori--Please send pictures...

Spidey--I think we have estabished that...

Libragirl--Thanks for popping in, you wild child, you!

10:52 AM  
Blogger shirley said...

Time to really blow her mind & pay a midget tranny stripper to come over and lapdance her while she's eating dinner!

(guy or girl, your choice)

11:45 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

Mrs. Fab must be a saint. Or at least darn close.

12:17 PM  
Blogger ❉ pixie ❉ said...

Yes, women get lap dances. No, you are not crazy. It's just not for everyone.

12:37 PM  
Blogger Suze said...

I must admit this potato daquiri is good, I think I'm starting to go cross eyed.

You got me thinking now, maybe for my next birthday I could have a lapdance as my present. I don't know if I could tell my parents what I got though. :D

12:42 PM  
Blogger Maritza said...

Sure it happens, just like those buttons you say puppies have. Your blog has been a pack of lies! I just checked and my dog doesn't have a button, NOT ONE! So don't come around here spreading lies about lapdances because it just doesn't happen! Maybe that kind of stuff happens in Holland where dogs have buttons, but not here buddy!

(blogmad missile - wheeee!)

12:46 PM  
Anonymous 3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) said...

OK, I've had lap dances from women. It was more for the man I was with to enjoy watching, than for my enjoyment. She was very talented and I could tell she had some training dancing, which is why I picked her. It seems that a lot of girls that spend years and years in ballet classes, but never quite get good enough to "make it" in a ballet troupe end up dancing in Vegas or strip clubs. ;-)
Luckily my present and forever husband has no desire to see me get a lap dance in a strip club. Actually he has no desire to watch strippers of any sort.

3T

12:47 PM  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Mrs. Fab is a very, very patient woman, isn't she?

Strippers. Ick. But that's just me.

Now if it were a lemur with access to potato dquiris...

12:56 PM  
Anonymous Sodapop said...

I've been to several strip clubs. I live in Las Vegas after all. Happens all the time, women giving women lapdances. Couples go to strip clubs all the time. A woman can't get into most clubs without a male escort.
I've bought boyfriends lapdances and I've received them (they aren't all that and a bag of chips - especially since I don't get turned on by a woman dancing all over me haha)

12:58 PM  
Blogger shirley said...

Blogmad stripper - kaching! Lapdance!

1:12 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

I have never been to strip club. But I do know that women getting lap dances from women is VERY common.

I love potatoes, especially with cheese and sour cream. But that drink just sounds plain nasty. And 24 oz of rum? My god!

1:14 PM  
Blogger karla said...

Mrs. Fab needs a few potato daiquiris. After ten, twelve of those puppies (and by puppies I mean daiquiris), she'll be up for a few lap dances.

1:14 PM  
Anonymous ANO said...

I'd much rather get a lapdance from a female stripper then a male.

1:15 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Lap dances the drunker you are
the better they feel,of course
you won't remember them in the
morning.

Potato daquiri i have a feeling
i would puke my butt off if i
were to drink that.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Sandi said...

Your potato drink sounds nas-tay.
You had to mention rum didn't you? huh? Shiver... I can still taste it. omg. Maybe you should eat come cheese curds with that drink?;P

The stripper thing is gross.....a man grinding on me would be fine thankyouverymuch.. but not a woman. However I can see why you would enjoy watching it.

1:27 PM  
Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

Uhm. Potao Daiquiri?? I should think not. Healthy maybe, but I'll have the fries instead!

And, lap dance from a girl? Why not at least offer Mrs. Fab one from you? She knows you and might accept it. Just take off the wooden shoes first, okay? That might be a bit too painful! :)

1:34 PM  
Blogger Dick Small said...

I don't know, Fab, that potato daquiri sounds pretty apalling. I don't think I'll try it. It would have to sound pretty bad for me not to try something, because usually I'll try anything once.

1:38 PM  
Blogger shirley said...

Wowie - now BM keeps sending me here! Yippee!!

1:46 PM  
Blogger Some Girl said...

Potato drink? Is that for real?? I'm feeling sick.....

1:57 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

well, you ARE crazy, but yes~women do get lap dances from other women.

sorry, Mrs. Fab....

4:10 PM  
Blogger CP said...

I went to a strip club in vegas with my hotband and got a lapdance from a Gina Gershon lookalike named Isabella.

My husband sat there with his mouth agape the entire time and drool falling out of his mouth.

Me and Izzy? We pretended to be making out underneath the cover of our long hair. We were actually talking about our kids and jobs (she goes to law school during the day) while we were feeling each other up.

Its really not a big deal...except for the reaction it had on my husband. I got my world rocked for the next 10 days straight.

I would highly recommend it to Mrs. Fab...she will reap the benefits entirely.

CP.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Belinda said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:53 PM  
Blogger Belinda said...

Ugh, I'm so punch-drunk from sleep deprivation and methadone overhang (it ain't so much working out, the new pain-management program) that I can't type, and had to start over. Anyway:

I am, no surprise, totally with the MRS. on this one. You're a freak. And just because OTHER people do something is no reason that SHE should want to do it. I'm in total agreement with her, though: sweaty stripper gettin' all in MY personal space? NO THANK YOU, regardless of their gender. I like my skank factor at a great distance.

And that shoe-size/penis size conversion chart? Although Alex, with his size 12.5 shoe, thinks it's just totally accurate, I'm here to tell you it's INSANE.

6:57 PM  
Blogger Dick Small said...

I used to be a lap dancer. However, my name really caused me some problems....

7:10 PM  
Blogger Dick Small said...

That Belinda is so cute!

7:11 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Shirley--Have you got any phone numbers I can call?

Lynda--I think it should be obvious by now that Mrs. Fab is indeed a saint...

Pixie--Wow. No one has ever told me that I'm NOT crazy before...

Suze--I can't believe YOU of all people haven't had one before...

Maritza--My blog is not a PACK of lies. "Pack" implies disorganization. My blog is a well organized collection of lies, thank you very much.

3T--Yhat is because your current and forever husband is a class act :)

Dawn--Or a badger, even...

Sodapop--I forgot you lived in Vegas. I may be ocntacting you about good places to go, we may be there in October...

Shirley--You little minx, you!

Mimi--Well, you don't drink all 24 oz. at once...

Karla--An excellent strategy!

Ano--Well, so would I, actually...

Michele--Well don't do that, you need your butt...

Sandi--I didn't say *I* enjoyed it. My heart is pure and my cause is just...

CS--I kind of gave her one this morning when I got out of the shower :)

Dick--Don't be a wuss, man!

Shirley--Hee hee

Some Girl--Oh, it's de-lish!

Pissy--It is okay, she is used to me being right :)

Dick--Prove it. Dance for us, monkey boy!

CP--Let's all go together!

Belinda--Oh hon, you know I have to side with my boy!

7:39 PM  
Blogger Dick Small said...

Sorry, I don't dance unless you pay.

8:03 PM  
Blogger Dick Small said...

Up front.

8:03 PM  
Blogger Big Ben said...

I beg Patti to go every time we pass a strip club. She has gone once or twice but would not let me buy a lap dance for her.

8:48 PM  
Blogger peebugg said...

The only thing that comes to bad is that really bad movie "ShowGirls".

And the horrible lapdance scene that the girl from "Saved By the Bell" did......

I might need a potato Daquiri now....

9:21 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Whaaat?? Whatttttt WERE YOU THINKING?!? LMAO!!

*Shakes Head*...

*Smack* (That's for your wife, even though I think she has already beat me to it) haha

10:04 PM  
Blogger shirley said...

Blogmad ring-a-ding-ding!!

10:35 PM  
Blogger shirley said...

(we're on some sort of crazy BM collision course!)

10:35 PM  
Blogger Catch said...

Ill pass on the potato daquiri...yuck!

Lap dances huh? I think I would be very uncomfortable getting a lap dance from a woman...and I dont understand why it turns guys on....if I seen another guy giving a lap dance to another guy I would so NOT be turned on. Ahh but different strokes for different folks I guess.

Thanks for visiting my blog....dont be a stranger.

12:13 AM  
Blogger Fidget said...

i think i just threw up in my mouth a little.. potato ... rum??? ugh1

1:09 AM  
Blogger CP said...

Uh...let me clarify. My husband had "no desire" to go either. It was MY idea and he went reluctantly. He got a kick out of my getting the lap dance and when she went to go dance on his lap (which I was fine with) HE refused her.

It was really more for me. *wink*

CP.

1:43 AM  
Blogger Plunky said...

Ok, readiong some of the comments, I have to laugh. 3T just evaluated a women's dancing ability while getting a lap dance. Hysterical. God, I love her.

Jason hates strip clubs and I got a lap dance once and smelled like that crap they rub all over themselves afterwards. Ick.

7:48 PM  

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