My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

This has international incident written all over it...

On Tuesday I recieved this email from DutchBitch:

Hey Fabby, so you said: “Bring it on?” to me when I said you should count your blessing I never requested a Dutch song?

BRING IT ON!!?? Do you even realize what you’ve done? You can't expect me to shut up now, can you. That is a challenge… a dare… I can’t leave untouched…

I am daring you to record your version of one of the most infamous Dutch songs ever:Een Beetje Verliefd (A Little Bit In Love) by André Hazes.

You can hear a sample the original on http://www.andrehazes.nl/page/jukebox/16/audio_hi/

Lyrics of the song on http://www.lyricsvault.net/songs/4353.html

And some history about the man himself on http://www.expatica.com/source/site_article.asp?channel_id=1&story_id=12200

So YOU bring it on now! I will make it worth your while. If you pull this off I will send you some wooden shoes in your size. I will personally pick them out and try to personalize them a little bit, just for you! I have not put this part in the comment on your blog but if you decide to take up the challenge I will put it up in a post on my own blog to prove that I am serious about this, lol!I kinda translated the lyrics for you so you know what you are singing about and can also put the right emotion in it…

I can’t wait for you to take up THAT challenge. If you pull it off you are my HERO (you are already but then FOR LIFE).

In een discotheek / I a discotheque
Zat ik van de week / I sat the other day
En ik voelde mij daar zo alleen / And I felt so very alone

't Was er warm en druk / It was warm and crowded
Ik zat naast een lege kruk / An empty chair next to me
Ik verlangde zo naar jou hier aan mijn zij / I was longing for you here by my side

Ja, ik denk nog steeds / Yes, I still think of how
Hoe het was geweest / It used to be
Toen je naast me zat hier aan de bar / When you were sat down next to me here at the bar

Ik vroeg: "Drink je mee?" / I asked you: “Can I offer you a drink?”
Dat vond jij oké / You said that was ok
Toen je proostte, naar me keek, werd ik zo week / When you said “cheers”, looked at me, I melted

Een beetje verliefd (Een beetje verliefd) / A little bit in love (A little bit in love)
Ik dacht 'n beetje verliefd (Ahahaha) / I thought just a little bit in love (Ahahaha)
Als ik wist wat jij toen dacht / If I had known what you were thinking then
Had ik nooit op jou gewacht / I would never have waited for you

Als een kind zat ik te dromen / I was dreaming like a child
Deze nacht ben jij voor mij / This night you will be mine
Maar die droom ging snel voorbij / But that dream vanished so fast

Jij stond op en zei: / You got up and said
"Hou m'n plaatsje vrij / “Please hold my seat
Ik moet even weg maar ben zo terug" / I have to step out but I will be right back”

Ach, die kruk bleef leeg / Oh, well, that seat stayed empty
Tot ik in de gaten kreeg / Until I finally realized
Dat je weg ging zonder mij, ik was weer alleen / That you left without me, I was alone again

Een beetje verliefd (Een beetje verliefd) / A little bit in love (A little bit in love)
Ik dacht 'n beetje verliefd (Ahahaha) / I thought just a little bit in love (Ahahaha)
Als ik wist wat jij toen dacht / If I had known what you were thinking then
Had ik nooit op jou gewacht / I would never have waited for you

Als een kind zat ik te dromen / I was dreaming like a child
Een beetje verliefd (Een beetje verliefd) / A little bit in love (A little bit in love)
Ik dacht 'n beetje verliefd (Ahahaha) / I thought just a little bit in love (Ahahaha)
Als ik wist wat jij toen dacht / If I had known what you were thinking then
Had ik nooit op jou gewacht / I would never have waited for you

Als een kind zat ik te dromen / I was dreaming like a child
Deze nacht ben jij voor mij / This night you will be mine
Maar die droom ging snel voorbij / But that dream vanished so fast

Didn't anyone warn the Dutch about me? I know the Canadians, English, and Australians know enough not to push my buttons.

At heart I am a child. I can't resist a challenge. The day someone challenges me to see if I can fly is the day I'm a dead man because I will talk myself into thinking that I can do it.

So I did it. Much like with You're Beautiful I studied the words and listened to the song a number of times. But you know what?

To paraphrase that old Steve Martin joke, the Dutch have a different word for everything.

I started to listen to it and start to spell the words out phonetically. Big surprise, with my attention span that didn't last long.

But I recorded it. It ain't pretty. About 45 seconds into it I lost the melody completely, and except for the chorus I made it up as I went along. But I plodded through, and I finished. I'm pretty sure, however, that an official protest has been lodged by the Dutch government. I have it on good authority that war may be declared.

I don't think the US military is prepared to go to battle with hundreds of tulip-worshipping windmill-building wooden shoe-wearing soldiers, but I reckon we'll find out.

Speaking of wooden shoes, I take a size 15 sweetheart.

And you know what that means.

this is an audio post - click to play

Nah, no wooden shoes for me. I didn't do a good enough job. I just didn't want to pass up the chance to remind y'all that I have big feet.

20 Comments:

Blogger Shelli said...

Size 15??! WHAT EV! He is lying everybody. I used to take a bath with him when we were little.

11:19 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Oh, wow. I have to say (don't take it the wrong way) that was HORRID! I hope you get the shoes; you deserve them. Nobody should humiliate themselves like that for nothing!

2:23 AM  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

Fabby you ROCK!!! Just for taking up and fulfilling the challenge I will make it mine to find a size 15 pair of wooden shoes!

Language-rape wise I think you'd be in more trouble with German and/or Scandinavian government because I am sure from the part where you started making stuff up you cranked out many German and Scandinavian insults... At least, that is what it sounded like to me.

Nevertheless, yeah for Fab! Mwah!!!!

4:08 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Shelli--Yeah but we haven't taken a bath together in, like, what, 4 months? I had a growth spurt in March.

Erin--No offense taken. It was one of those rare efforts that both sucked AND blew. Very rare!

Bitchy--It started out OK though, right? I know it veered off in a number of wildly disturbing directions, but I thought it started okay. No, you don't need to send me the shoes. I didn't do a good enough job for that. I had fun though!

5:03 AM  
Blogger JustMeTalking said...

Hahahah, I have tears from laughing !!
Ohh, heheh, you pronounced most of the words quite well !!! When are you coming to Holland ?

Eehehehe, it was REALLY GOOD ! I am Dutch .. I can know it.
Sure you don't want my sister to get you the wooden shoes ? I can go shopping with her to get you pink ones if you like.

5:08 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Your Fabulousness knows no end..I am so impressed!!! The Absolute Mr. Fabulous! The mostest and the biggest size shoes.
You are soooo cool!

5:09 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Justmetalking--You are way WAY too kind. I don't know, though, if I am the kind of fella who can wear pink wooden shoes. I doubt I can pull that look off!

Lorraine--Listen. Listen to me. You gotta get out more. If that song impressed you, we need to get you some help. A clinic of some sort. With specialists. We're here for you. We care. Do you need me to call anyone for you? :)

5:30 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Go figure, my doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, internist,(thought I'd throw that in)massage therapist agree with you. Ah the clinic, I know it so well...Use to work there!
and like my son's t-shirt says "I don't suffer from Insanity, I enjoy every minute of it"

5:47 AM  
Blogger Suze said...

Just a minute...that's Klingon isn't it. LOL.

Well done, personally I wouldn't have even attempted to do it. :D

7:46 AM  
Anonymous bertyMo said...

Mr. Fabulous, Best Singer Ever (... in your own bathtub anyway...) I must warn you: although you sing perfect Dutch, there IS a part that most clearly is a Norwegian dialect, only spoken in a small part in the most northern part of Norway, where your improv' song part is distinctly recognised telling very bad things about the Norwegian royal family and even worse, Santa Claus.... Had to tell you that, in case you want to hide in time..... :-)

10:07 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Ummm...you kinda sound like Colonel Klink from Hogan's Heros.

Not that that's a bad thing or anything....

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Ficklechick said...

You are a strange, strange man.

Size 15, really??? Somebody's wife is happy! ;)

11:43 AM  
Blogger kattbanjo said...

I enjoyed but I have to say that I prefer that dramatic readings, they really make me crack up.!!!!

12:15 PM  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

size 15? I demand an HNT of those monstrosities! lmao!

12:29 PM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Size 15 and you singing is way way to much for me to handle this afternoon, I am going to bed for one of my special naps.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

omg i have always wanted wooden shoes


seriously



are they expensive? i bet they are!

1:21 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

OMG too funny i am playing the "song" and I have two almost two yearlds pee'ing their diapers laughing and my four year old is dancing up a storm!






its done... they asked me to play it again LOL

1:25 PM  
Blogger ablondeblogger said...

Now that took guts! But, I have a CHALLENGE for you. Did you hear that? A CHALLENGE. You said you can't resist, and this one will take more guts than trying to fly.

I CHALLENGE you to sing, not say, "Man, I Feel Like a Woman" by Shania Twain! :)

2:52 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

I will have to listen at home, since I am Dutch and can understand the language. If I understand it, it is pretty good.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

I cant get past the size 15. ;)

9:49 PM  

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