My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

On The Road Again & My New Hero!


I am off to Huntsville today. It has been a while since I traveled out of town on business. I am still at corporate and have not yet moved over to the branch. So off I go.

During the coming week, I may not be around to your blogs quite as much as usual. My days are going to be packed, and I'll likely be out to dinner every night and I'm not sure when I'll be getting back to the hotel.

I will still be posting every day, though, and responding to your comments.

It is a horrific drive today that will take about eight and a half hours. Don't even mention planes. You know how I am.

But I like to drive, and I figured I would take notes with the recorder on my PDA and blog about the trip on Monday. I don't know if I can make a long car trip interesting but I'll sure try.

You know, if any of you guys loved me you would come and help me out. I mean there is a lot of work to be done. I am probably not even going to have the time or energy for any hookers and blow. So you know Mr. Fab be gettin' some serious work done.

Did I just talk about myself in the third person?

I got a Chevy Impala for my rental car. Nothing special. The girls at the counter would have upgraded me, but they didn't have anything cool. I bring a ton of stuff when I go on the road. A huge suitcase, my dress clothes, my work laptop, my personal laptop, and a case of water. Who travels that heavy for a week? I'm like friggin' Diana Ross for crying out loud.

Wait till I unpack. I'll show you my toiletry bag. You will be convinced I am gay.

Ha! My grocery receipts are better than yours!

That was the subject line on an email I got yesterday. It was from the always fabulous Attila the Mom.

And you know what? She was absolutely right. Check out these beauties:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Well, it looks like I can't get the middle one to show up as the right size, but she saved 98% on that one.

What is up with that? They pretty much eat for free at her house!

I asked her how she did it, and this is how she responded:

It's almost obscene, isn't it? LOL Those were my three "absolute best" so far. Normally I hit 60-80% off.

She is my new hero. She is stickin' it to the man!

I don't know if I will ever be able to go grocery shopping again. I don't feel worthy.

Okay, gotta have breakfast and start packing. Have a good day, y'all.

46 Comments:

Anonymous luin said...

In a Lil John voice - "What???"

I want the inside scoop. Teach me?

6:19 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

I am so jealous - I want to save 95% on my grocery bills! Have a safe trip.

6:23 AM  
Blogger Annie Drogynous said...

I may be kidnapping Mom soon and forcing her to shop for me for the rest of her life. The most I've ever saved on a grocery bill was $18.

6:55 AM  
Blogger Sandi said...

Drive safely and try to enjoy yourself a little bit!

and damn. I need to go clip me some coupons!
That is downright cool!

6:57 AM  
Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

I keep forgetting saving coupons at home anyway, so I gave up on it. Life's too short to spend time cutting out coupons. ;-)

6:59 AM  
Blogger MsDemmie said...

Have a good trip

7:09 AM  
Blogger marty said...

Firstly, have you ever considered singing "999 bottles of beer on the wall" while driving. That could take hours.

My goal is to have a store pay me to shop there. And who could possibly refuse my patronage?

7:10 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I know, why don't you sing the whole way and tape yourself and we can hear your travelling songs.
Must be exhausting travelling like that. Take lotsa photos ok?
And have a wonderful time, good (butnot great company) and great food! No calories when you're eating while you travel.
LOL

7:11 AM  
Blogger kattbanjo said...

how the hell does she do that????She's my new hero too. Sorry mr fab! You've been repplaced


have a good trip

7:17 AM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

Excuuuuuse me, but I don't think Diana Ross would be traveling in a Chevy Impala...then again, maybe she would.

8.5 hours...hmmm...you got a CD player in that Impala or is it equipped with satellite radio?

8:01 AM  
Blogger Leave It To Cleavage said...

I have to know, does she clip coupons and only buy what she has coupons for? I spend $35 a week and don't use any coupons. I really am impessed.

8:08 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Luin--I know! Impressive, isn't it?

Erin--Thanks, I will try to keep the moving violations to a minimum!

Blair--If anyone can pull off a kidnapping, it would be you!

Sandi--I do enjoy myself when I am driving. No, not in that way...

CS--That's what I used to think. But if I could practically eat for free, I think I would do it!

Ms. Demmie--Thank you my friend :)

Marty--I am sure merchants would clamor for your business!

Lorraine--I will try to do a few audio posts next week, but not from the road because then I can't title them or anything, they just load right up.

Katt--I have been replaced THAT quickly? Wow...

Motor City Monk-I have my trusty iPod! I was thinking about bringing my XM radio boombox so I could listen to the Red Sox game but I decided against it.

Leave--Hopefully she will share her secrets...

8:33 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

I love you and I told you that I would help you, but you claim you can't hire family. What EV!

9:02 AM  
Blogger Finn said...

Oh. my. God. Yes, yes, teach me, mom!

Have a safe trip bro. xo

9:24 AM  
Blogger Doctor Mom said...

I'm sorry to hear that you're on the road again... and you won't be able to see that I'm gloating over the fact that the Twins swept the Red Sox... leaving them with their tails between their legs!

9:33 AM  
Blogger Mel said...

I commented to your grocery post and its not there! I hate when that happens! I usually can save at least $10 off my grocery bill with coupons. I an envious of the 80%!

OK in honor of your trip I will share todays movie Line text message...

"We cant stop here. This is Bat country"

Be careful! I am almost sure there are bats in Alabama.

9:44 AM  
Blogger Serra said...

There's always something interesting to blog about on a trip. If it's 8 hours long there's most certainly a minimum of two posts :)

10:37 AM  
Blogger karaoke queen said...

Teach me O wise one. The only time I ever got that kind of discount was when the cashier wasn't scanning everything. Thank you disgruntled minimum wage employees.

10:54 AM  
Blogger Pud said...

You won't be able to blog much!?! But I thought you said you had no life?

11:30 AM  
Blogger Jod{i} said...

I have been up in 80's but 99?? Oh my word that is just...well brings out the envy in me! Hell I'd pay someone to do that for me! and still make a good chunk of change in savings!


Look forward to the toiletries! LOL

11:32 AM  
Blogger Suze said...

Mr Fab, I hope you have a good journey.

As for ATM, she is a true pro. I want to go shopping with her. :)

11:32 AM  
Blogger Attila The Mom said...

Have a great trip, Fab! Thanks for the shout-out!

He asked me if he could blog about it, because I said, "who would want to blog about groceries?"

As soon as I can figure out how to put it in a step-by-step process, I'll post it.

Thanks for all the kind words!

11:36 AM  
Blogger CeCe said...

How is that freaking possible?!?! The best coupons I ever get are like $.50 off some sort of product that only type II diabetes candidates would buy. I want the inside scoop!

11:47 AM  
Blogger shirley said...

OMG *astonishment* The last time I tried to use a coupon, I got confused and just gave the cashier all my banking info. And then screamed and ran out without my food or wallet. And then stepped on dog poo.

11:51 AM  
Blogger michele said...

Have a safe trip fab,that atilla
is one great shopper.It's all
in the coupons.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Yeah....it's official. Atilla is the queen of grocery shopping.

That is amazing!

Enjoy Huntsville!

Oh, and you pack like Little Pissy.

She packs prepared for anything.... she even packs her own snacks in case she can't find her favorites at her destination!

1:05 PM  
Blogger CP said...

HOLY SHIT!

GO MOM!!!

Dang.

Be safe, Fab. Don't forget to bring the jelly bean filled condoms.

Just in case.

CP.

1:20 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

wow Im in AWE absolute AWE Of those grocery bills. I need Mom to come help me shop or share her secrets or or or something! wow

um i cant remember if the fabster wrote anything all I can focus on is the receipts

2:42 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

uhm is she for hire? I would love to save 80 to 90% on my grocery bills... dang woman - you are my new hero.

3:34 PM  
Blogger T. said...

My mother in law does that with the coupons. I figured her grocery list must be cool whip, cooking oil, sardines, lemonade, and rice cakes. I never find coupons for normal stuff that i actually eat. I don't know how they do it.

3:48 PM  
Blogger Mindless Dribbler said...

Come help you? You just want me to see your toiletry bag and take some of my blood. You ain't foolin' me dude!

Geeez, those were quite some savings.

Have a safe trip brotha man.

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Kyle Korleski said...

Aww man, I want to save 80% off of my grocery bills.

6:01 PM  
Anonymous ficklechick said...

Have a safe trip! Since you're taking a case of water, why don't you entertain us with the number of potty stops you have to make?!

6:02 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Shelli--Since you are family you should be willing you should be willing to work for free...

Megan--I have arrived safe and sound :)

Doctor Mom--Oh, you did NOT just go there...

Mel--I am going to send you my cell number so I can get your movie quote messages. This one has me stumped...

Serra--I took three pages of notes :)

KQueen--Gee whiz, that's one step above just stealing stuff LOL

Pud--Yes, but these folks will keep me busier than I usually am!

Jod{i}--Damn, what is wrong with 80%???

Suze--It might not be the same in England. Do they have coupons?

Attila--You have developed quite the fan base!

CeCe--We can't share trade secrets with Canadians LOL

Shirley--You buy dog poo? I know where you can get some for free.

Michele--It's gotta be the coupons, LOL

Pissy--Hey, you gotta be prepared.

CP--I brought them, but I am not sure what to do with them...

Bluepaintred--Hey, I don't blame you...

Fantastagirl--Too bad it's not one of your super powers!

T--You can't live on rice cakes and sardines :)

MD'er--You will be glad to know it was all trouble free motoring...

Kyle--Do they have coupons for beer and salted nuts? :)

Ficklechick--Only one, thank you very much :)

7:08 PM  
Blogger cherish said...

WOW what a savings!

Have a SAFE trip!!!

8:09 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

That quote is from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas...a Johnny Depp movie. There are alot of good nonsense quotes in that movie because they are on drugs the whole time.

So I guess if you dont do any drugs you should be safe from the bats...maybe.

8:54 PM  
Blogger zhadi said...

How does she do this? Attila the Mom is an amazing woman...or a very accomplished con artist! Either way...cool!

You did talk about yourself in the third person. That's a bad sign.

9:15 PM  
Blogger kari said...

It appears we need some lessons on shopping. I'm waiting in line.

9:18 PM  
Blogger Sudiegirl said...

Are you sure she's not related to the entire checkout staff?

DAMN! I can't do that well either.

I am going to tell my mom about this.

Sudiegirl

9:24 PM  
Blogger jkirlin said...

Arrrrrrrrgh. I pay FULL retail!!!

Well, except for what I can sneak out in my pants.

9:45 PM  
Blogger Pamela J Weatherill said...

Excuse my Aussie ignorance ... but do they have Mangos or Stawberries in Huntsville hee hee?

5:03 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Cherish--Thanks, I am safe and sound.

Mel--I can't believe I've never seen that movie, seeing as I am a huge fan of Depp and Hunter.

Zhadi--It IS a bad sign? How do I get help?

Kari--Hey, no cutting in front of me!

Pamela--As many as you could eat. Thay are in abundance!

Sudiegirl--The only way you could do any better is to smuggle the stuff out of the back door!

JKirlin--And that's quite a lot. Lots of room down there :)

6:47 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

Wait. I don't get it. You need help with blow and hookers?

I wonder if Atila the Mom is up for hire. Or, maybe we can work out an apprenticeship or something, so the secret can be passed on from generation to generation.

2:34 PM  
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7:48 PM  
Blogger Doctor Mom said...

Yeah, I went there... mostly just to introduce myself...she says with a cheshire cat grin:)

I was sitting in the 4th Row, just feet from home plate... I could count the number of hairs in Joe Mauer's sideburns. Schilling and Santana...

I can only imagine how painful Grand Slams can be when you're already down by 2 ;0

I'm very sorry for your loss...

Wanna see my autographed Rawlings?

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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3:10 AM  

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