My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Top 10 Women Drivers of the Year...

I've been holding on to these pictures for quite a while and I need to get them out of my inbox. I received these one day at work. Remember when I had a job? Gosh, it seems like it was just four or five days ago...

Disclaimer: By posting these I am in no way disparaging women drivers. I just think they are humorous. Some of you may have already seen these pictures before, but I never had, so I am assuming there are plenty of you out there who have not seen them as well.

I love women. I love women drivers. I don't think women are worse drivers than men. I think bad driving can apply equally to both genders. I say this partly because it is true, and partly because with their sharp teeth, long sharp nails, and pointed shoes women could do serious damage to me if I pissed them off. Plus many of them carry pepper spray. And you can always count on some of them to be riding the cotton pony. I'm sorry, that was an insensitive comment. What I meant to say was that you can count on some of them to be experiencing a Massacre at the Y.

Wait, that's no good either.

Arts and crafts week at panty camp?
Dishonorable discharge from the Uterine Navy?
Trolling for Vampires?

Um...I seem to have gotten off topic here. You can find more witty euphemisms here.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I had some pictures of women drivers. Here we go:

10th place goes to:

9th place goes to:

8th place goes to:7th place goes to:
6th place goes to:

5th place goes to:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

4th place goes to:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

The bronze medal winner:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

The silver medal winner:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

And the gold medal winner:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I'm no biker, but I'm pretty sure that is not the proper way to wear a helmet...

Wasn't that fun?


Blogger Tense Teacher said...

Arts and crafts week at panty camp?

That's new... and gross.

12:13 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Tense--What do you have against arts and crafts? They teach the young people valuable...skills?

12:15 AM  
Blogger Belinda said...

Those are pretty funny. What's interesting to me about the whole "women drivers" cliche' is how inaccurate it is. I worked many years in insurance, and that is a statistics-driven business...the fact is, that men are by FAR, responsible for more damage to lives and personal property than women behind the wheel. Young men, in particular. That's why their insurance premiums are so high.

I was always fascinated by the fact that young men's auto insurance premiums dropped so much if they got married. Young women's premiums pretty much stayed the same, but young men became a better risk when they got married! I think marriage stops being a factor for men around age 35 or so.

Hope you're doin' OK, Hon.

12:15 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

LOL, wonderful...I hope Ms.Bees Knees visits ;)

12:36 AM  
Blogger Dramedy Girl said...

I've seen a few of those before, but some of them were completely new. Love the gold winner. Heh, looks like something I would do...

12:47 AM  
Blogger Peace & Happiness said...

OMG!!!! I swear I almost pee'ed my pants when I saw the last picture.... I HAVE to save that to my won hard drive! I do!!! Hahahahaha Oh lordy thank you for such a good laugh!


12:47 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

The one with the car over the water...that woman wasn't driving. She isn't wet from jumping out.

Are they giving CPR to someone back there?

Thanks for the dictionary. I was thinking of talking about riding the cotton pony in my blog (further proof I am not a man) and now I have a whole list of terms besides Aunt Flo and TOM.

12:52 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

Oh, and the helmet one cracks me up!

12:53 AM  
Anonymous ANO said...

What a bunch of weiners, I mean winners!

12:54 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Belinda--I agree about male drivers. I think they are easily more aggressive as a whole than women drives.

I'm doing well, I hope you are as well. I know how much you wanted to go to BlogHer this year.

Lorraine--I am sure she will LOL

Dramedy--Now I don't believe that for a minute!

Peace&Happiness--Glad I could help! Thanks for stopping by!

12:54 AM  
Blogger Belinda said...

I think that women may have a lot of fender-benders, but when men crash (especially young ones), they tend to do a LOT more damage. I know that all of my accidents, aside from the one where a set of duals came off an 18-wheeler and hit me, have been episodes of single-car stupidity from not paying attention to what I was doing (like a lot of those pictures are).

2:11 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Belinda--Perhaps so, but that was likely because you were thinking deep thoughts and could not be bothered by the more pedestrian issues that the ret of us are forced to deal with :)

2:15 AM  
Anonymous Luin said...

Gold medal is all wrong. It should be the cop going through cement. It's her job!

2:44 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

I once knew someone whose sister managed to get her car into the carwash sideways. Think about that for a minute. Yah. I am not sure how she did it either.

2:59 AM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

LOL , that was funny.

and is this going to be a regular occurance? I got so used to just reading you in teh morning and then commentning and checking and checking and checking!!, your response. now there is new posts ALL the time... me likees

3:01 AM  
Blogger Noi Rocker said...

LOL! That is hilarious!!

4:39 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

Now where's the pictures of the guys? I know they're out there, and I'm counting on you, our equality-loving metro leader, to find them.

4:46 AM  
Blogger Maritza said...

I think I was in a couple of those...

6:34 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Luin--You have a valid point, my friend.

Shelli--Yeah, I know who's sister did that. Mine. And the driver was you :)

Bluepaintred--I think I will go back to posting in the morning, but you never know, now that I am not working I can post all damn day!

Noi--I thought you would like them :)

Erin--Well, these kind of fell into my lap. I guess I COULD look for pics of male drivers, but that would be (Shiver)

M--You know, I wondered about that...

7:18 AM  
Blogger goldennib said...

I saw your name bantered about on a few other sites, so I thought I'd check you out. Very funny.

Sorry about your job, that sucks.

You never see photos of men in these situations because men would die of embarrassment and then there'd be no more men in the world. How would we continue to populate the world? There's only so many sperm in the banks, wouldn't last long and who would want everyone to look like Howard Hughes?

7:28 AM  
Blogger Sandi said...

hehehe..those were pretty funny:)

Once I hit a pole in a deserted walmart parking lot.. omg.. I will never live it down either!

8:03 AM  
Blogger MsDemmie said...

I do hope your next post will be the top ten male drivers of the year !

9:35 AM  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

Where did you get that biker picture of me!??? I thought I had destroyed every copy of it!

9:38 AM  
Blogger michele said...

Funny pics,now do the men,
you are an equal opportunity
blogger aren't you?

The cotton pony never heard it
put that way
Yes i do have pepper spray
on my keychain and my trusty
baseball bat.

Living in cali with the road rage
and carjackings you have to be

12:56 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

The gold medal winner is PRICELESS!

chuckle chuckle


1:49 PM  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Now, now, Fab. In some places those may be the traditional ways of parking. #9 for instances. Makes it much easier to check for badgers that way...

1:58 PM  
Blogger nanuk said...

Thanks very much, Fab. I now feel curiously virile and superior! My wife once drove her truck halfway up a mountain on a ski-doo trail before getting it stuck there for a couple of weeks. She said (despite the fact she has lived here all her life) "I thought the road went that way". You can be sure I don't let her forget this everytime she is critical of my driving skills.

2:21 PM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Then I would know how she did it, wouldn't I? hmmmm??? It was NOT me.

2:27 PM  
Blogger Jod{i} said...

Hee hee...Those were rich!
Of course we are humorous how the hell ya think we get out way? Its all a distraction tactic...and if the union finds out, I am screwed...shhhhh...


Oh--if I could I'd vote for you.. :)

2:28 PM  
Blogger Belinda said...

"Belinda--Perhaps so, but that was likely because you were thinking deep thoughts and could not be bothered by the more pedestrian issues that the ret of us are forced to deal with :)"

Mr. Fab--who told you about that pedestrian?

2:51 PM  
Blogger Deuce said...

Great Pics, All Very Funny, I wonder how some of them even managed to get into that position, like the one hanging on the boat.

3:05 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Goldennib--Thanks for popping in! You've really thought this through, haven't you?

Belinda--LMFAO :)

Sandi--Wait until you see tomorrow's post :)

Jod{i}--Oh, it's a UNION deal...

Dawn--That is an excellent point. Those badgers could be anywhere...

Shelli--Don't try to confuse me with the facts :)

Deuce--Chicks can be very resourceful!

Nanuk--I think those of us with testicles can all feel a little better about ourselves.

Ellie--I'm glad I could make you chuckle!

Michele--You make California sound like Thunderdome!

MsDemmie--You want me to do all that work?

Dutchy--I know MANY things!

3:30 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

Thats why I warn everyone before I drive you just never know what may happen.

3:36 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Wild Wild West for sure!
You would think it would
keep the tourist out.
I guess most of them have
that dare devil mentality.

Besides Hollywood is here
and everybody wants to be
a star.

3:57 PM  
Blogger Suze said...

I have never heard of any of these euphemisms before but I am taking notes. I will check the list later to see if I can add any Brit ones to the list.

4:36 PM  
Anonymous Lemurgirl said...

Good to see you're back on form Mr Fab. I'm so sorry about everything that happened. Lots of love and hugs have been sent over the pond :)

If you're looking for something to fill your time though I just finished the blogathon, that's a whole lot of posts to get through!

Just a thought :)


4:46 PM  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

i guarantee you could find just as many pics like this with male drivers, mister! lol

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Heather said...

I love the euphemisms. I haven't seen those pictures, I'll have to show my husband.

7:25 PM  
Anonymous Heather said...

Funny story: (And my husband was actually just talking about it at dinner the other day.) The day he got his drivers license, as he was driving home from getting it, he tried to go around some woman. The woman was motioning for him to stop but he didn't listen because he thought "Hey! I'm a driver now. I know what I'm doing." Well, he went around her and his car ended up exactly like your 9th place winner. (Except it was a tree stump, not a rock.) They actually had to saw the stump to get his car off of it.

7:33 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Lori--Well, YOU, yeah :)

Michele--They want to be just like you!

Suze--I am sure you can come up with several, my dear!

Lemurgirl--I'll be over, my dear!

Webmiztris--Oh..are you sure? LOL

Heather--He told you this AFTER you married him, right? You couldn't have married him AFTER hearing the story, surely?

8:12 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Oh that's what it is,i was in a
few movies,blink and you'll

Got a record contract at 23,
but don't look for me anytime
soon on Entertainment Tonight.
Goodnight fab!

8:20 PM  
Blogger Attila The Mom said...

Hey now! My ex-husband did a #5 all by his masculine self! LOL

9:41 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

LMFAO! I must not be politically correct cause I have no problem saying women can be bad drivers!

For the most part I think women make more of the silly goofs as your pics prove. Men seem to cause more agressive type accidents. And the elderly always claim the gas pedal got stuck when they run a group of people over or go through a wall. But I am not so sure. (Seriously it has happened twice in the past week alone)

10:12 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

LOL -those were great!

11:46 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Michele--Really? You ARE my hero!

Attila--Seriously? That is SO cool!

Mimi--That is true, they always claim that!

Fantastagirl--Happy to help!

11:59 PM  
Blogger Cheeky said...

I have seen many of these before - and I laugh every time

3:56 PM  
Blogger Catch said...

Us poor women!great pics..reminds me of drivers training!

4:23 PM  
Blogger SwanShadow said...

That's easily the ten funniest things I've seen this week.

Well, that, and the frantic back-filling of Mel Gibson. Who is only a drunk driver, and not a woman.

This will get you on my blogroll for certain, Mr. Fab.

3:41 PM  

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