My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Vegas, baby!

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Well, it's official. We're going to las Vegas in October. Yeah, baby!

Mrs. Fab has to go for some big medical professional management convention or such and I am going to tag along for the ride.

Yes, we will be flying. I don't know how we're going to work that out, but I am assuming that I will be put on a gurney, fitted with a morphine drip, and loaded into the luggage hold. That should get me there with a minimum of fuss.

I don't know much about Vegas, but I understand there is a ton of stuff to do there, which is good, because I'm not much a gambler, really. All I ever play is slots, and I have a tendency to get bored after a very short while doing that.

I understand at the convention there is a huge trade show. I don't usually take free stuff but I am planning to load up at this one. I will have enough Prozac pens and Viagra note pads to last me to the end of my days.

Sadly, Mrs. Fab has mandated that I am forbidden to engage the services of any "escorts" during the trip. She is holding pretty firm on that.

However, in a moment of weakness, she has agreed that half of whatever I win at the slots I can spend in strip clubs. So I have that going for me. Which is nice.

Of course, she agreed to that knowing that I am not really a fan of strip clubs. Damn her cleverness!

We are going to renew our wedding vows at the Graceland Wedding Chapel.

And we will be staying here at the Las Vegas Hilton. Mrs. Fab is stoked, because this is where her favorite singer (swooooon) Barry Manilow performs. Barry won't be there when we are, but apparently there is a recording studio of sorts where you can make a CD singing karaoke to Barry's songs. So guess what I will be doing one day while she's at the conference?

Time in New England/Took me away/To long rocky beaches --and you, by the bay/We started a story/Whose end must now wait...

The things we do for love, eh?

Also my blogging buddy Kathy from The Soda Stand, who lives in Vegas, has graciously offered to let me know whatever is "can't miss" the week we're there.

Imagine. A goofball reprobate like me cutting up and running around loose without sanction in Sin City.

Should be worth a post or three.


Blogger morris said...

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3:45 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

The Things We Do For Love is a different artist altogether. Have fun, though. It will be hard to have more fun than you will have the week before you go, though, when you meet me when I come to visit you. Even Vegas can't compete with all that is The Princess!

4:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Morris--I'll give it a look-see, mate.

Shelli--Nice healthy post-birthday ego you have there, sis! And I wasn't quoting The Things We Do for Love, I was quoting Weekend in New England, silly!

4:16 AM  
Blogger Belinda said...

And please understand that, despite ad campaigns to the contrary, What Happens In Vegas...Gets Blogged.

5:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can I come?

5:59 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Belinda--Hmm..thank you for that cautionary note LOL

Dick--I don't know. Do you have any erectile disfunction issues?

6:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nope! Not at all!!

7:04 AM  
Anonymous TJ said...

My stepkids' bio-dad lives in Las Vegas. The kids fly out to see nim twice a year. They've been doing that for about 5 years now. I've never been to Vegas. Just more evidence that life is cruel

7:04 AM  
Blogger Annie Drogynous said...

Fab, you'll have a FABULOUS time! The city is electric!! Restaurants open all night (you should try to hit Piero's), shows up the ying-yang and don't forget to try the Carmel Bar at the Bellagio!

BTW, slots suck. Try video poker.

7:10 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Oooo that's so sweet, renewing your vows and all...I love Barry Manilow's 'Oh Mandy' please, please can you sing it on your return.
Las Vegas, Oh My...My you'll be FLYING...I mean that in a alternate druggie state of mind.
Please can we get a photo of you and the Fabulous Mrs. (fully dressed, well Mrs. Fab, anyway)

7:14 AM  
Blogger karaoke queen said...

Vegas is cool! I suggest you rent a car, and get out of the city though unless you want to go to conventions or casinos. I went hiking in this cool turtle sanctuary park, went swimming and boating in Lake Mead etc. And things cost half the price outside of the strip. Example: bottle of water at casino - $5, bottle of water at walmart *same brand - 75 cents. Ok, sometimes its more than half. If you have time, you can take a trip to the grand canyon which is very close as well....

8:05 AM  
Blogger Pud said...

I love Vegas!!!

Have fun! Make sure your doctor gives you valium for your flight. It works like a charm.

8:06 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

I'm so jealous!

I wanna go!

My step-daughter moved there last September.

Shall I tell her to be on the look-out for you?

8:11 AM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

Vegas is a playland for degenerate adults like myself.

I only play the blackjack machines. Fuck people and their evil glares when I decide it's time to hold with 13.

The last time me and my buddies went to Vegas we ended up being driven around all night by a cute female cab driver who took us to strip clubs (she even came in with us) and ended up blowing my buddy in the cab after she had dropped us off at our hotel. True story.

8:20 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

My dad isn't much of a gambler and my mom likes the slots, but they have a great time in Vegas. My mom said once you could spend a week there just going to the different hotel attractions!

If you run out of time for renewing your vows, there is always that drive thru wedding place. Shouldn't Time in New England really be Time in Las Vegas?

8:34 AM  
Anonymous kristarella said...

Nice! I hope if hubby goes to a conference of some kind that I can afford to tag along. It's a good opportunity for free accomodation (when the uni pays for his). Have fun! Wouldn't mind seeing some of that karaoke video ;)

8:41 AM  
Anonymous kristarella said...

BTW, do you have something in your code blocking links being opened in new tabs? I couldn't open shelli's link to a new tab.

8:42 AM  
Anonymous kristarella said...

Scrap that last one. It was Kathy's link and it's working now.

8:43 AM  
Blogger CrankyProf said...

OH! Mail me and let me know which week! Mr. Cranky has to be in Sin City in October, as well, and I am tagging along!

We could take over the WORLD!

8:47 AM  
Blogger speckledpup said...

oh golly.
Vegas'll never be the same....

Can't wait for the full report.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Maidink said...

I had no clue you were afraid of flying. Two sedatives and three Bloody Marys usually does the trick for me.

I've never been to LV. Would like to go someday. Maybe. i guess. kinda.

You'll have fun, I'm sure. You're the kinda guy who could have fun at a reading for C++ instruction manuals. And LV is FAR from being that.

9:08 AM  
Blogger Finn said...

I'm not a big gambler either, and I got tired of Sin City after about two days. Of course, I with the hubby so I couldn't spend my winnings on escorts either.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Dick--Okay then you can come!

TJ--Life IS cruel. Come on out with us!

Blair--Damn girl, we ought to take you along as the tour guide. What is a carmel bar? I like video poker...

Lorraine--They are gonna have to dope me up with horse tranquilizers. OMG I just had a great idea. I should audio blog when I'm all doped up! BTW, Mrs. Fab is like The Shadow, no one ever sees her.

Does she really even exist?

KQueen--You know I love you, but umm...hiking? Lakes? I can do that here :)

Pud--Is valium a better choice than Xanax?

Pissy--Please do. I won't be hard to spot!

MCMonk--I bet I don't get that lucky...

Lynda--I could sing it like that, same number of syllables...

Kristarella--Oh, I don't know if there is video too. Maybe...

I am glad you figured it out. As soon as you say "code" by eyes get cloudy.

CP--That would be SWEET! I know it is the latter part of the month. I will check.

Pup--Will you be able to send me bail money if I need it?

Maidink--What kind of sedatives? This is important information I need LOL

9:45 AM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

way coooooool !!!

when you renew you're vows are you going in a hawiian shirt and shorts or will you dress like elvis?

if you are good at origami you can use the viagra notepads to ... get it up?

i think that to get back at you for the wal*mart gag, mrs fab should just use cuffs and a ball gag to get you on the plane, forget the drugs you don;t deserve them!

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Monique said...

Will Elvis be making an appearance at the vow renewal??? He was at my wedding, very fun. Except when he kissed me and my mom on the mouth. Tell Mrs. Fab to watch out.

10:03 AM  
Blogger Pickalish said...

I'll be there in 3 weeks. We go every year. Have fun!

10:03 AM  
Blogger Nobody said...

Hey! Mrs. Nobody and I are planning to go to Vegas in October as well!

10:14 AM  
Blogger Itchy said...

Atavan. For flying. It's the only way I can do it. It's the one drug that doesn't make me sleep and I'm not 100% drugged out. There's a bit of memory loss but that's liveable.

And for some reason this Barry Manilow song popped into my brain:

But somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
Will come to see
That you belong with me

Not sure why. Atavan maybe?

10:35 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

That is SO cool! I went to Vegas for the first time this year and I'm going again next month. Exciting! Have fun!!! In October. Because I said that like you were going today when I know you're not going for a couple of months.

10:46 AM  
Blogger michele said...

Renewing your vows that's so
special,can't wait until you
blog about it.

How about Barry Manilow's
Looks like we made it?

10:55 AM  
Blogger Jod{i} said...

...and just think of all the fodder for the blog! LOL...jus like the commercials...
SOunds like a blast! A bunch of ladies here at work go every year...and the stories are just tear jerking funny!

I like how you plan on flying, lol, I would choose that way myself!

10:57 AM  
Anonymous ficklechick said...

I'm jealous! Vegas is awesome. You're going to have all kinds of sinful fun!

11:16 AM  
Anonymous Sodapop said...

WOOT!! Watch out Las Vegas, here comes Mr. Fab! haha

Take some valium and drink a margarita (or martini) before flight and you'll be set for the flight ;)

There are lots and lots of things to do in this town. =)

11:58 AM  
Blogger snackiepoo said...

Mmmmmm, Vegas. We go twice a year and love it there....we are actually going for five days next month! If you want to know what is good and what just sucks, I am here to help.

I find valium to be good when getting on a plane...that or getting good and boozed up in the airport lizard lounge ;)

12:41 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Blue--Hawaiian shirt and shorts all the way baby! I can't find my ball gag, can I borrow yours? :)

Monique--Maybe he'll kiss ME on the mouth!

Pickalish--Cool, you too!

Nobody--Cool, maybe we'll see you. It's a small town, right? :)

Itchy--LOL Atavan sounds like a winner!

Amber--I remember your trip, you had an AWESOME time. Although I don't think any cab drivers are gonna be checking out MY boobs...

Michele--Oh yeah, that will be on there definitely!

Jod{i}--I should come back with a months worth of posts!

Ficklechick--Come on with us!

Soda aboout valium AND ATavan, AND Xanax? And vodka! And heroin! Sweet!

Snackipoo--I shall avail myself of your advice!

12:58 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Well...I know you'll make the most out of this trip.


in answer to a question you had....

Cleaveland Indians....for some reason I've followed them since I was a kid.

1:49 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

Yes, valium is better than Xanax.

1:53 PM  
Blogger kristi said...

I think that Vegas will be awesome...there are so many shows to see there. You and Mrs. Fab will have an awesome time!!!

1:54 PM  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

Vegas is AWESOME! you definitely won't be bored!

I can hardly wait to see your karaoke video... you WILL be posting it; right? :)

2:20 PM  
Blogger Mindless Dribbler said...

Lucky bastard...

2:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so-o-o-o-o jealous -- I've been telling Geek that when we reach our 20th anniversary, we're going to Vegas, and we're either having the deluxe Elvis wedding (he and Geek share a birthday) or the pirate wedding. We did it right for our first wedding, the second one will be completely cheesy.

I wanna go! I can clear my calendar in October...

2:50 PM  
Blogger Suze said...

Wow, I'm sooo jealous. Is there room in your case for me?

So you will be launching your new CD soon! Reserve me a copy. :D

3:09 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

Before I went to Vegas I thought, "Ug, Vegas." And rolled my eyes. I was a snob. Then I went and fell in love ... for three days anyway it rocks! No clocks in the casinos. No windows. Oxygen pumped in to keep you going. The water show in front of the Bellagio is cool. You'll have fun!

3:10 PM  
Blogger kattbanjo said...

katt wants to go too!

3:30 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Sounds fun. We went to Vegas for the first time in March and had a good time. I was ready to go home by the time we left, though, and we were only there for three days.

3:35 PM  
Anonymous sodapop said...

I think Valium is better than all of those...just take 3 of em and then have your drink ;)

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

have a blast in called you gay it was a

4:53 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Kristi--I am thinking you are right!

Tense Teacher--Really? No school in October? Let's go!

Spongebob--No sweat LOL. I am probably half gay anyway :)

Erin--I probably will burn out quick too. I am a homebody at heart these days

Ellie--Got seduced, did you? LOL

MD'er--Hey, I gotta win one once in a while!

Mike--Cleveland, eh? Not this year, but next year looks good!

Webmiztris--Wait, I'm doing a video now, too? Hoooooold everything! LOL

Pud--Thanks, good to know!

SodaPop--That seems to be the consensus!

Katt and Suze--I am expecting you guys to come along with us!

5:40 PM  
Blogger Maritza said...

You must take photos!!!

6:10 PM  
Blogger Janet said...

I've heard that I need to go to Vegas at least once in my life. I live not to far from AC though, so I've been able to hold off till now.:)

6:32 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Sodapop 3 valiums and a drink,you're standing on
shakey ground with that

6:37 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Fab- I've heard rumors about Mr. Smalls erectile disfunction...

just sayin'

So take me instead of him

7:08 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

doooooood!! thats too far, I'll share my kids my hubby and my handcuffs, but dont be asking fro my ball-gag and vibe!

7:28 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Maritza--You can count on that!

Jen--Hmm...okay. You're in, he's out!

Janet--Oh come on, can AC compare?

Michele--You could be right...

Blue--Hey! I thought we were pals!

8:07 PM  
Anonymous 3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) said...

WOOOHOOO! You're going to have FUN!! So much to do and SEE! The people watching is the absolute BEST. The Casinos are all splendid with themes to each one!

For the best french meal you have ever had, go to Paris Restuarant. Their bread they serve is the best. Their escargo, is orgasmic! Their Creme brulee is the second or third orgasm of the meal! (spendy, yes. But oh so worth it!)

And I think you've scored on the medical ink pens and pads.I have my x-husband bring me the drug pens all the time from the hospital he works at. You're getting them at the source! I think you could/should run contests giving them away. I know that they are sold over E-bay all the time. ;-) (I'm winking, but I'm not kidding. Rachel from Web Desgins bought a shit load of them off of E-bay)

I hope you have a fabulous time Mr. Fabulous! :-)


8:19 PM  
Blogger Mrs. CPA said...

Mrs. Fab and I could swoon over Barry Manilow together. I too think he is fabulous.
Too bad he won't be there.

(I came from Blog Mad.)

8:42 PM  
Blogger Big Ben said...

No escorts, eh. Tough break. Maybe just go for a relaxing massage. "I didn't know there was going to be a happy ending?" say Mr. Fab.

11:16 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

I am going with you!! That's final =) *Jealous glare*

11:32 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

I want to go to Vegas - Mr. Incredible and I wanted to renew our vows there this year - maybe this fall.... but that will involve ME getting on a plane and taking off... yeah I am scared of flying - maybe not flying as much as the possibility of crashing....- do they let you have morphine by the gallon??

12:14 AM  
Blogger marty said...

Things YOU should do in Las Vegas:

1. Go to Liberace's museum (he wasn't gay or anything).

2. Go to Downtown Las Vegas. It is seedy. Notice the "talent" at the Downtown hotels. You've probably not seen them for years and like their material they've aged.

3. Take a bus ride to Laughlin, Nevada. It is Las Vegas for the cheap and lower class. Most of the waitresses are about 70 and have breasts that hang down to the floor.

Why can't I get that job writing for Fodor's?

12:14 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Mrs. CPA--Thanks for popping in! You ladies and your Barry LOL

Marty--Dude, I don't know. Obviously you've got the mad skills... it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask are very wise my tall Canadian friend...

Shannon--Hey, just say the word!

Fantastagirl--We should totally go halvsies on a five gallon drum!

3T--Really? Drug pens? Why on earth is that the case? LOL

And um...escargot? It would definitely induce some sort of reaction, but I don't think it would be an orgasm!

3:05 AM  
Blogger Annie Drogynous said...

Fab, the Caramel Bar serves caramel martinis.

6:31 AM  
Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

Lucky you! I went twice to visit a friend and I LOVED it! YOu won't get bored. And I agree: rent a car, if possible and visit the Red Rock Canyon, Lake Mead, any Cirque du Soleil show (they're all great) and of course, the Strip. Bellagio Fountain show is great, especially from the terrasse.

Hey, you're going into glamourosity, too?! (see, I can invent words, too) :)

7:17 AM  
Blogger Tenacious T said...

Never thought I'd even want to go there, but after I did, I was hooked. One of my favorite places to visit...SO much to do.

6:52 PM  
Blogger Finn said...

Don't mind me or anything. I'm just here. Not that you noticed.

7:02 PM  
Blogger Tracy said...

You have to check out David Copperfield at the MGM if he's still there. Amazing show! :)

AND don't forget to check out the water show at the Bellagio. Incredible!!

9:12 PM  
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