My mind is a dangerous place. Make sure you wear a cup.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Cocaine, Meth and Heroin

by Shelli aka Lil' Fab

My brother! Hmph! He turned me into an addict. Well, I was one anyway, but he just egged me on. Gave me new things to be addicted to. The cocaine, meth and heroin of the internet.

I used to be fine. Sometimes I would dabble in a little heroin, aka site stats. I would check now and then. I was content to see 50 or so a day. Then he introduced the coke to me. You may know it as BlogMad. Yah. If I am awake and near a computer, you can bet I am surfing BlogMad. Have you seen me there? That dazed look in my eyes? Suddenly, I was popular, man. My site stats went out of control. They went from 40 to 50 a day to as many as 170 one day. I hit 15,000 hits on my site meter on July 11 and currently, I am a little over 18,000 hits. So, now I am on coke and heroin.

Ahh, but the best was yet to come. I told him I am not interested in meth, or as he calls it, Blog Explosion. I will NOT battle. I Do Not want to rent to or from anyone. I am not doing it. Until he asked me to vote for him one day. Well, he didn't ask. He blackmailed me. "If you don't sign up and vote for me, I'm telling Mom about the time you..." (Ahhh, you thought I was going to tell you what he had on me. No way! That's between him and I. And some other people. That's all I am saying.)

You guessed it. Not only did he get me to sign up and vote for him, he got me to battle. It was sweet at first. High all the time. I won 12 battles in a row. No losses. 12-0! I thought, "This is awesome!"

He pushed, "Sis, you're kickin' ass. You'll get to 100-0!"

I thought I would be happy to get to 20-0. But it was not to be. And the lows, man, they are low. You want to get back and take another hit. Can't let your rank fall. Gotta keep it up there.

Now it is a vicious circle. Hit the heroin. Snort some coke. Take a hit of meth. Start all over again. Keep those site stats up. You gotta surf BM if you want to do that. Keep your rank up on BE, but you gotta battle to do that. I'm dancing as fast as I can. Thanks, bro!

Psst...sis...over here. Hey, you wanna try something that'll make you feel real good? It's called MySpace. Go on, take a taste. First one's free...special deal for family members...


Blogger Shelli said...

God, you know, I tried it and didn't like it. But make it sound so much more appealing. You always were a bad influence on me. Now you got me pimpin' my MySpace. And look at that--I even capitalized it. I am truly an addict.

11:01 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

Shelli, did Fabman put you up to this since I signed up today? He is trying to lure me to the battle side.

11:22 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

omg LOL you freaking crack me up

i refuse to try out my space i tried the blogmad thing but I dont understand all teh credits I have ( like 50 LOL) so I will stick to stalking your brother and his lemurs

11:25 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

you know it's not good to tell addicts like me about stuff like that... now I'm off to look and see - but I won't go to MySpace... nope not gonna happen.... damn i checked it out... i'm such a push-over...

11:31 PM  
Blogger Pamela J Weatherill said...

Theme of the week it seems ... hee hee I got a new one blogging this week too ... we must be devils in (poor) disguise!

12:05 AM  
Blogger Cheeky said...

I am a fellow junky.....and just like another junky to share in their addictions....yep I have the myspace too....I am such a sucker

12:57 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Linda: No, actually, I have been throwing this around in my head for a long time. I actually wrote it the night before last, before he told me that you signed on. Oh I know what he does. He will make you battle. Mark my words.

BPR: I didn't understand BlogMad at first either. Until Fab got ahold of me. He is a bad influence, I tell you. Pretty soon he will have you experiencing lemur love.

Fantastagirl: See what I mean. Now you see why his avatar says, "Come over to the dark side," and then he adds that little tease, "We have cookies." Bastard.

Pamela: You are one of his kind, too?! (backing away holding my fingers up like a cross)

Cheeky: Should we attend a meeting together?

2:11 AM  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

Aaaaah see!!! That is also what he does to people. I was telling him the other day how addicted I was becoming to BE and that I should consider going into rehab and he told me to keep going! Ugh... But yesterday I lost 3 battles in a row and I am less addicted today so it seems... Until the buzz of winning comes along again.. I presume...

3:33 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Lil' Sis, I don't know what to say, brothers are....special. They're kinda like an addiction that won't go away!

3:46 AM  
Blogger Annie Drogynous said...

I haven't had any meth in about a week and it feels great. Those battles can really wear you down.

6:27 AM  
Anonymous Jason said...

Interesting comparisons. Maybe it's time to get some help.

7:21 AM  
Blogger cyberoutlaw said...

Hi, my name is Cyberoutlaw... and I'm an addict. Where's the coffee machine? LOL! Very well done. And true too!

9:37 AM  
Blogger Finn said...

No MySpace people - it's evil, evil do you hear me?

Honestly, I really don't get it.

9:38 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Dutchbitch: And you won today, didn't you. You can't quit, I know.

Lorraine: I know. This one particularily.

Blair Bitch: I haven't gotten there yet. I am still in the up phase.

Jason: Spoken like a true addicts husband.

Cyberoutlaw: Coffee and cookies over there. Welcome!

Megan: Me either. And yet, there I am.

12:02 PM  
Blogger zhadi said...

Jeez louise, I don't even wanna KNOW about all these things! I have enough problem trying to keep up with posting and reading posts. NO BATTLES.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

Whose Linda? ROFL!

3:04 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Hey - I meant to thank you, by the way. Blogshares.... you've brought my value up tremendously!!!!!!

3:33 PM  
Blogger speckledpup said...

um yessssssssss

all that and a chocolate bar.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Suze said...

Shellie, you may just have encouraged me to start looking in to trying some of these for kicks.

I'm clean never touched any of those before but I think I'm ready.

3:46 PM  
Blogger MsDemmie said...

Watch the fake stuff pushed out on Blog Soldiers and the supply at Blog Clickers is intermittent ..I hear Blog advance can be good though ....... X

4:15 PM  
Blogger Janet said...

Now that you have found My Space and if you have more time on your hands I'm here to tell you it's all downhill from here:(

That being said, I tried to click on your add friends list so we could be "junkies" together, but it wasn't working. If you click through on my site, you can always request me though.

6:35 PM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Zhadi: Do as I say, put your fingers in your ears and back away, saying in your loudest voice, "La la la la la," over and over and over.

Lynda: Sorry, sleepy brain problem!

Rebecca: Me? Why it was nuthin'.

Pup: You got it, my sister!

Suze: If you sign up for BlogMad, jump on over to my blog first. There is a sign up button there and I will get the credits for it. Fab doesn't need any more. He is rollin' in them. ;)

Ms. Demmie: I have only heard of Blog Advance and I belong to that one. I haven't heard of the others.

Janet: I am not sure if you are talking to me or Fab.

12:05 AM  
Blogger siva said...

I don't know what to say,because i haven't had any meth till now.But i will pray for you.

Crystal Meth Addiction

7:46 PM  

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